I was attending a big personal pity party yesterday...there wasn't much I could do about getting myself out of it either. Thanks for listening to it - I needed to get it out there & off my chest in a bad way. Maybe I was having the big pity party because I was getting sick.
I did mention yesterday things could get worse...oh boy, things could always get worse. I think reminding myself of this is the fuel to keep me going day to day. Yesterday, starting in the afternoon, things went downhill and by 7:00 pm things were worse...way worse. There is good news, however...I'm over the pity party (for now...until Dr. Wonderful Dentist calls & we have to go back to readdress the eldest's tooth thing). But the good news is that by 11:00 pm I was back to making comedic remarks about our worsened situation with Wonderful Husband and amidst blood, vomit, IVs, and a packed ER, we were laughing at our situation.
First off...Wonderful Husband told me I'm a sick topper, much like a story topper. This is one of the snarky, funny comments that he and I share when we are in a really sucky situation...and man, humor does get us far! My boys have been on & off sick with a stomach bug for a week...and Wonderful Husband was home ill the past day and a half. Even daycare said they have had a few people out ill. Well...I must have caught it, but I did manage to top them all.
With the stomach bug, I got so dehydrated so fast that I fainted in the bathroom. The floor won...even thought I tried convincing Wonderful Husband last night that I kicked the floor's ass...it was pretty clear who was the winner. Not me. This conversation helped pass some time in the ER and get some more laughs in there.
How it came about? All I remember is I was on the lou, felt faint and was going to lay down on the cool bathroom tile to help feel better. Ohhhh, that ground in the bathroom felt so nice and cold...I'm feeling a lot better, I thought. Then I realized...I don't remember crawling down to the floor. Geesh...I'm really weak, I can't really move. Wait...what is wet around my mouth, drool? How long have I been laying here...did I fall asleep? Oh my God...it's not drool...it's a huge pool of blood, all around my head and face that I'm laying in.
Wonderful Husband is a first responder. He always stays calm in emergencies, but when I was laying there and screaming for him...I knew it wasn't good when there was pure panic in his voice when he came in. He called 911. Good thing too, there was no way I was going to be able to get in the car.
So, the paramedics and fire department arrived, I fainted another two times and looked like a corpse with blood all over her face. My oh my, I know how to do it up good! Sick topper is right. We knew a lot of the EMTs...that was good and all, until I started vomiting. Blood and fainting isn't that embarrassing...that was the emergency we needed them for. But it is embarrassing when you vomit into your lap when they strapped me onto the gurney. Thank goodness I had a bucket close by was able to contain the rest that continued as they wheeled me out of my house.
Outside, OF COURSE, my nosy old neighbor was out watching. The EMTs told him the show was over...but he continued to stare. I waved him off, but he didn't move. Then I gave him the middle finger. Ha! Okay Fabian...you may have caught on I don't like you, but now you know without doubt. Nosy neighbor he is...even after I flipped him the bird, he didn't turn and walk inside, he just took a few steps back to be somewhat concealed behind a fur tree, but still able to watch. I started laughing with the EMTs how I gave him the finger...maybe he didn't really deserve it...but it made me feel confident he won't corner us outside and start asking us about it when he sees us next.
So...we are pretty sure I broke my nose. They were confident I didn't hurt my brain, or was having a heart attack. After a few hours, lots of IVs, lots of ice chips, I was finally feeling better. The ER was so packed they had me in the prisoner detainee room...video monitor, wall that locks to keep all the ER supplies safe, a special door and windows with blinds that close from the outside. This was fine, after all, I was with a police officer (ha!). But then an actual arrestee came in with the CPD...so finally, it was time to hurry me out of there and get me home. Thank goodness!
I feel a million times better today, but I haven't yet looked in the mirror. My face should be a nice, glorious site...at least when I'm at the pool we joined, people will notice my face more than my annoying legs covered with psoriasis and cellulite (ha!). I'm just happy the tooth fairy didn't come for me last night...that would have really, really broken my heart.
The pity party is over...Karma reminded me things aren't that bad...and could always be worse. My, she showed me things could be worse for sure! My happy face is back on, just with a little more detail.
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