Well, I posted yesterday, after a two week hiatus for my family vacation, which was wonderful. But the oops part comes in the fact that I posted yesterday's blog about 11:00 pm, after 3 glasses of red wine at the church fish fry. Really?...who gets drunk at a fish fry with your parents & family? Uh - me. Maybe this will be a separate post & reflection on another day.
I came home last night, chatted with my sister-in-law and went to print out a recipe for her. I poured myself another drink...what? Oops. And then spent way too long on the computer...and this morning, my empty pint glass is still sitting at my desk.
After taking the twins to dance class, I came home & rushed to my computer to see what I posted yesterday. Okay - it's not so terrible...I won't remove it.
But I guess this "incident" requires me to reflect on my new year's resolutions...which I did well in the start of the quarter, but fell off the wagon on a few of them. With Q2 starting tomorrow, I'll revisit what I told myself I was going to do, and here are the grades I'd give myself from Q1:
1) Appreciate what I have now with my job & make the most of my work-life balance - A
2) Listen to fun music - A-...I am no longer obsessed with news radio & I'm enjoying it
3) Do something every day - that is: {gulp} Exercise - C...the start was good, then I got sick in Feb, started back up in March, but then on my vacation was over indulgent...time to start again
4) Be kinder to my kids - B...I can always do better
5) Stay dry - F - I did this for 1 month, but totally fell off the wagon - need to start focusing on this again
6) Not bite my nails - D
7) Continue to do fun things - A+ :)
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Life is made up of teams
In school I used to hate any type of group project. When I mean hate I think I could interject any type of dislike word: despise, cringe at, avoid, loathe, really really really hate.
What is amazing is that as I've continued with the many facats of my life, I have changed my opinion and approach with a lot of things. Teamwork! I prefer it. I like it. I've reformed. I like having a support system - can't say that enough, can I? Who knows what propelled the change, if it be just working, becoming an adult, getting married...maturing. Reflecting on this, I think a big part lies in trust; trusting other people is what is the foundation of a team and it feels great.
We had that big, interim, specially requested SEPAC meeting (Special Education Parent Advisory Council). I stated before that I was this spokesperson for change, or waged a war with the Director of Student Services, making her raise to a better level of performance to allow Special Ed parents support the Special Ed teachers and students better. What was great, I had my 'team' of parents support the questions I submitted on our behalf, I didn't have to be the one who spoke up in this meeting alone.
We requested this meeting with the Director who then invited the District Superintendent. Our meeting was so well represented; compared to the typical 2 - 5 parents who have come in the past, the meeting was packed with about 15 parents, 5 teachers, and 6 administration. We got our questions answered, gave some great constructive feedback and points for improvement, and stressed the ideal is to support our special ed teachers. I think the parents all left with a comfort that the district values our children, are making the right decisions for them, and understands what we need. Just for the fact that one question was based off a bullet in the Board of Education minutes, the superintendent was impressed that people actually read it. Then when another parents said she watches the tweets of the meeting, I think we, as a team, blew his mind that we are the type of parents who support our school.
When I was younger I don't believe I was a good team player by any means (do I see this a lot in my eldest?). I hope that I'm a better team player now, because I really like working on a team compared to all by myself. I can guarentee this...I'm much more cognizant of trying to be a team player, because every day, I'm thankful for my different teams in my life, be it work, home, social, school...life is made up of teams and I like it!
I'm reviewing this post, which has been in 'draft' mode for 2 weeks. When I left it, I only finished 1 thing out of the list that I had to do before my vacation...but with my team, I got it all done.
I finished:
> Finishing work & 3 projects before St. Patricks' Day...were there repercussions? Not sure yet - trying not to think of it until I login on Monday.
> Reviewed the boys' clothes & shopped at the resale for the twins club
> Completed 8 hours of meetings & 500+ questions on surveys with the child psychologist for testing
> Packing...and all that entails :)
And finally...going on the best 2 week vacation ever :) Thanks mom & dad...and my siblings, and my children, and my wonderful husband, and coworkers, and friends, and relatives, who celebrated, covered for me, and were my 'team' in this reason why we all work = vacation.
What is amazing is that as I've continued with the many facats of my life, I have changed my opinion and approach with a lot of things. Teamwork! I prefer it. I like it. I've reformed. I like having a support system - can't say that enough, can I? Who knows what propelled the change, if it be just working, becoming an adult, getting married...maturing. Reflecting on this, I think a big part lies in trust; trusting other people is what is the foundation of a team and it feels great.
We had that big, interim, specially requested SEPAC meeting (Special Education Parent Advisory Council). I stated before that I was this spokesperson for change, or waged a war with the Director of Student Services, making her raise to a better level of performance to allow Special Ed parents support the Special Ed teachers and students better. What was great, I had my 'team' of parents support the questions I submitted on our behalf, I didn't have to be the one who spoke up in this meeting alone.
We requested this meeting with the Director who then invited the District Superintendent. Our meeting was so well represented; compared to the typical 2 - 5 parents who have come in the past, the meeting was packed with about 15 parents, 5 teachers, and 6 administration. We got our questions answered, gave some great constructive feedback and points for improvement, and stressed the ideal is to support our special ed teachers. I think the parents all left with a comfort that the district values our children, are making the right decisions for them, and understands what we need. Just for the fact that one question was based off a bullet in the Board of Education minutes, the superintendent was impressed that people actually read it. Then when another parents said she watches the tweets of the meeting, I think we, as a team, blew his mind that we are the type of parents who support our school.
When I was younger I don't believe I was a good team player by any means (do I see this a lot in my eldest?). I hope that I'm a better team player now, because I really like working on a team compared to all by myself. I can guarentee this...I'm much more cognizant of trying to be a team player, because every day, I'm thankful for my different teams in my life, be it work, home, social, school...life is made up of teams and I like it!
I'm reviewing this post, which has been in 'draft' mode for 2 weeks. When I left it, I only finished 1 thing out of the list that I had to do before my vacation...but with my team, I got it all done.
I finished:
> Finishing work & 3 projects before St. Patricks' Day...were there repercussions? Not sure yet - trying not to think of it until I login on Monday.
> Reviewed the boys' clothes & shopped at the resale for the twins club
> Completed 8 hours of meetings & 500+ questions on surveys with the child psychologist for testing
> Packing...and all that entails :)
And finally...going on the best 2 week vacation ever :) Thanks mom & dad...and my siblings, and my children, and my wonderful husband, and coworkers, and friends, and relatives, who celebrated, covered for me, and were my 'team' in this reason why we all work = vacation.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Dropping things off the balance pole
I'm picturing me on the tightrope again, with all the things I have to do sitting on either side of the 10-foot balance pole in my hand as I'm gingerly walking across the tightrope. It is scary, but I can see the end of the rope and the safety of the platform ahead. I know I will make it there.
Yesterday, I saw one thing drop...getting the books & maps from AAA for our upcoming Florida trip. I am letting that task fall off the bar and into the great blackness below the tightrope to the circus tent floor. The task could bounce back up to knock me off, by thinking that I have to read the books and plan for some side adventures on our way home...but then I realized with sweet relief: I have hours upon hours to read and research where to go on our road trip down south, along with the full attention of my husband to brainstorm with. Ah - the weight is a bit better knowing I can defer that for a bit. Seems like a small thing to do, but it was lingering...which adds to the stress...which is now lessened {ahhh}.
The next thing should be finished today...a new war I waged with the school district's director of student services. I didn't mean to wage a war and I'm going to take the firm stance that I'm really not, though the director may disagree. What I am doing is simply raising the level of standards that this person is doing to support the special education families. Today I'll be writing my final reply for the topics we are requesting to have the administration cover, in an ad hoc, interim meeting they have setup on our behalf for next week. After today's email, I don't foresee any other work besides attending that meeting next week. The good thing...it's not a war I'm in by myself, I've got a great network of some awesome parents that are all working together.
We also finished 3 surveys, totaling 365 questions of how our child acts...helping the psychologist examine and diagnose our child's problems. Man - it's hard to assess and commit to some of the answers. Together, Wonderful Husband and I have spent a few free evenings and weekend afternoons completing it. Now all I have to do is mail it back.
So...what else is on the tightrope balance bar? Lots before St. Patrick's day - the kick off to our much needed vacation bliss :)
> Finishing 2 projects at work...I'm on target to get done on the 16th with no time to spare
> Get a birthday present for a party this weekend
> Fish out all the boy's summer clothes to prepare a list of needs/wants for the clothing resale this weekend
> 8 hours of meetings over 2 days next week with the child psychologist for testing
> Preparing a parent agenda for the IEP meeting and sending it to school
> Packing...and all that entails :)
I can do it. I can do it. I will do it...and I'm going to try not to stress about it. Thanks for listening.
Yesterday, I saw one thing drop...getting the books & maps from AAA for our upcoming Florida trip. I am letting that task fall off the bar and into the great blackness below the tightrope to the circus tent floor. The task could bounce back up to knock me off, by thinking that I have to read the books and plan for some side adventures on our way home...but then I realized with sweet relief: I have hours upon hours to read and research where to go on our road trip down south, along with the full attention of my husband to brainstorm with. Ah - the weight is a bit better knowing I can defer that for a bit. Seems like a small thing to do, but it was lingering...which adds to the stress...which is now lessened {ahhh}.
The next thing should be finished today...a new war I waged with the school district's director of student services. I didn't mean to wage a war and I'm going to take the firm stance that I'm really not, though the director may disagree. What I am doing is simply raising the level of standards that this person is doing to support the special education families. Today I'll be writing my final reply for the topics we are requesting to have the administration cover, in an ad hoc, interim meeting they have setup on our behalf for next week. After today's email, I don't foresee any other work besides attending that meeting next week. The good thing...it's not a war I'm in by myself, I've got a great network of some awesome parents that are all working together.
We also finished 3 surveys, totaling 365 questions of how our child acts...helping the psychologist examine and diagnose our child's problems. Man - it's hard to assess and commit to some of the answers. Together, Wonderful Husband and I have spent a few free evenings and weekend afternoons completing it. Now all I have to do is mail it back.
So...what else is on the tightrope balance bar? Lots before St. Patrick's day - the kick off to our much needed vacation bliss :)
> Finishing 2 projects at work...I'm on target to get done on the 16th with no time to spare
> Get a birthday present for a party this weekend
> Fish out all the boy's summer clothes to prepare a list of needs/wants for the clothing resale this weekend
> 8 hours of meetings over 2 days next week with the child psychologist for testing
> Preparing a parent agenda for the IEP meeting and sending it to school
> Packing...and all that entails :)
I can do it. I can do it. I will do it...and I'm going to try not to stress about it. Thanks for listening.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
"God bless you."..."Thank you, we need it"
I've been talking a lot lately about confidence, bullying, and parenting a special needs kid. This month, I'm obsessed with our family 'struggles.' It's all from the timing of the eldest's 3 year full re-evaluation and IEP review.
The full re-evaluation is a comprehensive look at where you are from all aspects...IQ, gross motor, fine motor, physically, emotionally. Heck...I've never had this done to myself. I can't tell you what my IQ is, my ability for 'executive function', or my processing skills. But I can tell you my 6 year old's scores.
The IEP is the 'Individualized Education Plan' for special needs kids. It's where the school says what they are working on to get the child 'caught up' and legally, they have to hold to it and measure against it.
This process is hard for a parent...it's a lot of information gathering, researching, filling out questionnaires, and focusing in on all the 'problems' that someone has. It's very disheartening. At the same time, it's nice to look at the things the eldest has accomplished: he can read, he can print, he is a great kid. Though, with any cloudy day...the sunlight only shows through a little bit.
Monday was Casimir Pulaski day, so Wonderful Husband and the eldest had off work and school. The three of us went out for breakfast. The eldest does great in restaurants, especially the breakfast joint we frequent. The entire staff knows him by name, so it's easy for us since we know they forgive our 'quirks.'
The breakfast was great, pretty relaxing...it consisted of us pretty much spoon feeding our 6 year old to get him to continue eating, giving him hugs often as he kept dancing around the table out of his chair, and us picking up things off the floor (mostly from me knocking things down trying to prevent a spill). Wonderful husband and I were in a very good mood.
As an older couple was leaving, they stopped by our table and told us how great of parents we are, that we are doing a good job, and "God bless us both." My response is to smile, thank them and say with a laugh, "Thanks! We need it. God bless you too."
These encounters actually aren't uncommon. Though, with all this dreary focus on the evaluation and IEP, I'm really down in the dumps, so I'm teetering between feeling good about this comment, and feeling sorry for myself. I think that is the part about depression and anxiety...it's a black hole that is hard to get out of.
It was nice of that elderly man to say that. Maybe he is from a similar situation with his own kids or grandchildren. It is encouraging, since some of the other patrons kept looking over at us throughout our meal. Maybe they were impressed how we were keeping our cool...or maybe they were judging us. Confidence...and the love of Wonderful Husband has me not caring either way.
But, like many dark times in my life...I'll say "I feel sorry for me." Right now, I feel sorry for me. The man giving his sympathy to us just makes it all come to a realization that the road we are on is hard and it's not going to end anytime soon. I'm trying my darnedest to take what he said on the positive side, accept his blessing, and try to focus that we are doing a good job. Though, I just wish this anxiety and depression and feeling sorry for myself would cease.
The full re-evaluation is a comprehensive look at where you are from all aspects...IQ, gross motor, fine motor, physically, emotionally. Heck...I've never had this done to myself. I can't tell you what my IQ is, my ability for 'executive function', or my processing skills. But I can tell you my 6 year old's scores.
The IEP is the 'Individualized Education Plan' for special needs kids. It's where the school says what they are working on to get the child 'caught up' and legally, they have to hold to it and measure against it.
This process is hard for a parent...it's a lot of information gathering, researching, filling out questionnaires, and focusing in on all the 'problems' that someone has. It's very disheartening. At the same time, it's nice to look at the things the eldest has accomplished: he can read, he can print, he is a great kid. Though, with any cloudy day...the sunlight only shows through a little bit.
Monday was Casimir Pulaski day, so Wonderful Husband and the eldest had off work and school. The three of us went out for breakfast. The eldest does great in restaurants, especially the breakfast joint we frequent. The entire staff knows him by name, so it's easy for us since we know they forgive our 'quirks.'
The breakfast was great, pretty relaxing...it consisted of us pretty much spoon feeding our 6 year old to get him to continue eating, giving him hugs often as he kept dancing around the table out of his chair, and us picking up things off the floor (mostly from me knocking things down trying to prevent a spill). Wonderful husband and I were in a very good mood.
As an older couple was leaving, they stopped by our table and told us how great of parents we are, that we are doing a good job, and "God bless us both." My response is to smile, thank them and say with a laugh, "Thanks! We need it. God bless you too."
These encounters actually aren't uncommon. Though, with all this dreary focus on the evaluation and IEP, I'm really down in the dumps, so I'm teetering between feeling good about this comment, and feeling sorry for myself. I think that is the part about depression and anxiety...it's a black hole that is hard to get out of.
It was nice of that elderly man to say that. Maybe he is from a similar situation with his own kids or grandchildren. It is encouraging, since some of the other patrons kept looking over at us throughout our meal. Maybe they were impressed how we were keeping our cool...or maybe they were judging us. Confidence...and the love of Wonderful Husband has me not caring either way.
But, like many dark times in my life...I'll say "I feel sorry for me." Right now, I feel sorry for me. The man giving his sympathy to us just makes it all come to a realization that the road we are on is hard and it's not going to end anytime soon. I'm trying my darnedest to take what he said on the positive side, accept his blessing, and try to focus that we are doing a good job. Though, I just wish this anxiety and depression and feeling sorry for myself would cease.
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