So the Elf on the Shelf has made this HUGE comeback. We got one a few years ago from my mother in law. Last year we had it out, the kids were 5, 3 and 3. They liked it - looked for him each day - but sometimes he didn't move. Maybe the story went, he went to the N. Pole, and came back, liked his place from the day before and went back to that same spot for a good view of the goings-on.
There was a radio host who was talking to parents about this. One came on & said she forgot to put the elf away on Christmas day, so she told her toddler (yes, toddler), that he was sticking around until they moved...in MARCH! So this lady went on to tell us all about how she had to move her elf every stinking day for 3 months after Christmas. And sometimes she'd wake in a panic because she didn't move it. Why didn't she just tell her child that the elf was sticking around for one more day & put it away then?
I'm not buying into stuff like this - rules are always broken. We are the parent...we get to make the rules. THIS, my friends, is how I stay on my tightrope. I'm just wondering what kind of anti-anxiety drug this woman is on that she couldn't break her own rule about an Elf on the Shelf.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Digital Cameras have a Delete button
The beauty about digital cameras is that when kids take stupid pictures, you can delete them. You don't have to print them, or post them.
When I was about 10, I recall taking a whole roll of film of my dog with different props with those disk cameras. I also recall my mom coming home from Osco with the developed film so mad that she printed a whole roll of film of the dog.
Here is a picture I came across on FB. Why someone would post this super unflattering picture of their kid in a permanent place boggles my mind. Thank goodness for some people...the last post on this, which you can't se here, is a statement saying that they see braces in the future.
I'm wondering how many more years it will take for this kid to be uber-pissed at their mom for putting this picture out there. Yuck.
When I was about 10, I recall taking a whole roll of film of my dog with different props with those disk cameras. I also recall my mom coming home from Osco with the developed film so mad that she printed a whole roll of film of the dog.
Here is a picture I came across on FB. Why someone would post this super unflattering picture of their kid in a permanent place boggles my mind. Thank goodness for some people...the last post on this, which you can't se here, is a statement saying that they see braces in the future.
I'm wondering how many more years it will take for this kid to be uber-pissed at their mom for putting this picture out there. Yuck.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Truth
Truth is a funny thing. It gets twisted. It is clear. It is factual. It is make-believe. It saves people. It hurts people.
Why do we run away from it? From fear of telling people things that they don't want to hear...or that will hurt. I've learned in my 'old age' to try to reserve telling the truth in what I think for the times that it can only help matters. For example...
There is a young unmarried couple that moved in a house down the street. I think this is their first house by a few things. The first 10 leaves that fell this autumn, the guy was out raking...the rest of us were waiting for a bit longer when the 1M leaves on our block would soon be on the ground. What I noticed last month was that they had all their old wooden storm windows at the curb with the garbage.
I thought: Why are they throwing those things out?...it's almost winter. Maybe they don't realize what they are doing, or maybe they are getting new windows, those lucky dogs!
A day later a window sales guy showed up at our door with the pitch: We are here doing new windows in your neighborhood & wanted to see if you wanted a quote. My thought: Yes, those new neighbors down the street are getting new windows.
Weeks went by. No new windows.
Now I think they just didn't realize that in this 50 year old house, with the single paned windows, in the winter you hang those heavy storm windows. Yes, it prevents you from opening the windows until the spring...but it also prevents freezing cold air from coming in & frost on the inside of your house (yes, on the inside of the window).
I was walking down the street & she started a conversation with me. Wonderful husband asked if I mentioned the storm windows. I said no. They were long gone in the garbage, what good would it be to point out to her the truth in her error? None, I decided. So every time I drive by, I look at those single paned windows with the screens on them & think....man, they are going to be freezing cold.
Now...should I have walked down the street & checked while they were throwing out the storms? Should I also open my mouth about other things I believe as the truth? Maybe. But maybe not. Perhaps it's the truth to me, but not to someone else.
Why do we run away from it? From fear of telling people things that they don't want to hear...or that will hurt. I've learned in my 'old age' to try to reserve telling the truth in what I think for the times that it can only help matters. For example...
There is a young unmarried couple that moved in a house down the street. I think this is their first house by a few things. The first 10 leaves that fell this autumn, the guy was out raking...the rest of us were waiting for a bit longer when the 1M leaves on our block would soon be on the ground. What I noticed last month was that they had all their old wooden storm windows at the curb with the garbage.
I thought: Why are they throwing those things out?...it's almost winter. Maybe they don't realize what they are doing, or maybe they are getting new windows, those lucky dogs!
A day later a window sales guy showed up at our door with the pitch: We are here doing new windows in your neighborhood & wanted to see if you wanted a quote. My thought: Yes, those new neighbors down the street are getting new windows.
Weeks went by. No new windows.
Now I think they just didn't realize that in this 50 year old house, with the single paned windows, in the winter you hang those heavy storm windows. Yes, it prevents you from opening the windows until the spring...but it also prevents freezing cold air from coming in & frost on the inside of your house (yes, on the inside of the window).
I was walking down the street & she started a conversation with me. Wonderful husband asked if I mentioned the storm windows. I said no. They were long gone in the garbage, what good would it be to point out to her the truth in her error? None, I decided. So every time I drive by, I look at those single paned windows with the screens on them & think....man, they are going to be freezing cold.
Now...should I have walked down the street & checked while they were throwing out the storms? Should I also open my mouth about other things I believe as the truth? Maybe. But maybe not. Perhaps it's the truth to me, but not to someone else.
Happy Slapsgiving (belated)
I just realized I never posted this from Thanksgiving morning.
'How I Met Your Mother' has been a show Wonderful Husband and I started watching in it's season one. We love it - every Monday we look forward to it.
Well, today we had our own version of Slapsgiving, unfortunately. It's hard to admit the not-so-great-things that happen in a seemingly nice family with such young kids...mostly from fear of the stigma that will go along with it. But, I'm deciding to open up. Under the covers everyone has things they deal with....it's the mantra I use to keep myself grounded & always conciously to not keep up with the Jones'.
This Thanksgiving morning my eldest slapped me across the face. Man, it hurt. The little 6 year old hand left a huge red mark on my upper cheek. Why? Because I was making french toast sticks and his brother said he wanted 6, which is the eldest's favorite number so started him getting very angry. I picked up the eldest to show him everyone starts out with 3 because that is how many fit in the toaster slot and....SMACK! Tingles...numbness...shock...handprint...sadness...anger...
When you hit the bottom, there is no where to go but up. For a girl who was never great in Art class, I'm pretty creative. There is now a clear box with a 'No Hitting' illustration sitting on top of the fridge. Every time someone hits, one of their toys gets put in this until the next day. What they don't know yet, is that they only get to pick one back when tomorrow arrives...not all of them. This box has been on the fridge for 40 minutes & there are already 2 toys in there.
What is strange, my horoscope says something about solving a problem that hasn't yet had a solution. Funny huh? I love horoscopes!
Right now I'm hanging in my office, clearing my head, drinking my coffee to start my morning (yes, it's only 8:45 am, and all this happened BC (before coffee)). I'm going to go upstairs & tell wonderful husband about our own 'Slapsgiving'...admist all this frustration as parents, I know it's going to make him laugh pretty hard. I'm thankful for him :)
'How I Met Your Mother' has been a show Wonderful Husband and I started watching in it's season one. We love it - every Monday we look forward to it.
Well, today we had our own version of Slapsgiving, unfortunately. It's hard to admit the not-so-great-things that happen in a seemingly nice family with such young kids...mostly from fear of the stigma that will go along with it. But, I'm deciding to open up. Under the covers everyone has things they deal with....it's the mantra I use to keep myself grounded & always conciously to not keep up with the Jones'.
This Thanksgiving morning my eldest slapped me across the face. Man, it hurt. The little 6 year old hand left a huge red mark on my upper cheek. Why? Because I was making french toast sticks and his brother said he wanted 6, which is the eldest's favorite number so started him getting very angry. I picked up the eldest to show him everyone starts out with 3 because that is how many fit in the toaster slot and....SMACK! Tingles...numbness...shock...handprint...sadness...anger...
When you hit the bottom, there is no where to go but up. For a girl who was never great in Art class, I'm pretty creative. There is now a clear box with a 'No Hitting' illustration sitting on top of the fridge. Every time someone hits, one of their toys gets put in this until the next day. What they don't know yet, is that they only get to pick one back when tomorrow arrives...not all of them. This box has been on the fridge for 40 minutes & there are already 2 toys in there.
What is strange, my horoscope says something about solving a problem that hasn't yet had a solution. Funny huh? I love horoscopes!
Right now I'm hanging in my office, clearing my head, drinking my coffee to start my morning (yes, it's only 8:45 am, and all this happened BC (before coffee)). I'm going to go upstairs & tell wonderful husband about our own 'Slapsgiving'...admist all this frustration as parents, I know it's going to make him laugh pretty hard. I'm thankful for him :)
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
My Bucket List
Is it grim for a 36 year old to always think of her bucket list? I think it may be in eager anticipation for the exciting things I want to do in my life, rather than focus on what I need to do before I croak. There is a recurring theme in my bucket list: experiences. I don't want anything material, like a certain house, or a car, or a fur coat (though that would be nice). I don't want a fancy purse, shoes or jewelery. I want to see things & go places & eat things.
This is what I want to do, or I should say, where I want to go. For the most part, my wonderful husband agrees with me (though he'd prefer to stay state-side, while I want to go global), but what makes our marriage awesome, is that we'll still do what the other wants. I actually have some target dates...now I just need to focus & really make it happen.
> Re-visit WDW with my kids now a bit older, but will still experience the Disney magic...target 2012
> Re-visit Italy with my kids ...my initial thought - target 2015 (eldest will be 10, twins will be 8)...it still may be possible
> Re-visit Hawaii - wonderful husband and I agreed that our 20 year anniversary would be a nice time to do this - and agreed that we would love to stay at the new Disney resort there - target: 2020
Now for the things I haven't yet visited and want to make sure I see in my life-time:
> Carlsbad Caverns & sit at the natural amphitheater to see the millions of bats leave the cave at dusk
> See the Northern Lights - wonderful husband suggested an Alaskan cruise - great idea!
> Swim, or shall I say: float, in the Dead Sea
> See Rio de Janeiro
> Hang in blue jeans and a flannel shirt at a Colorado dude ranch
> Fish in Canada - yes, I want to go fishing in Canada
> Camp in Yellowstone - yep, camp
> Stay in a treehouse in Oregon
> Take a trip to the Grand Canyon via the Grand Canyon railway
> Go on an old-school romantic trip to Niagra Falls with only the wonderful husband
> See NYC, the Statue of Liberty and see a Broadway play
> Re-visit Macinaw island with the family, eat a lot of fudge and bike around (making new memories like I did with my family on our trip that had the best thunderstorm story a vacation ever had)
> Ski in Colorado - I'm a little scared after I skiied the Alps in '95, and got a lost, had to scoot down a black diamond on my butt, but survived (while my friends all watched me at the bottom of one big hill). This time, I want to get a good map, speak the language well & take a lesson.
> Travel up the East Coast to Maine and eat some lobster
Reviewing my 'travel ideas' folder...there are a lot of other places, but I should rank them in second place & really focus on getting to this list above done...then I can keep adding & adding.
This is what I want to do, or I should say, where I want to go. For the most part, my wonderful husband agrees with me (though he'd prefer to stay state-side, while I want to go global), but what makes our marriage awesome, is that we'll still do what the other wants. I actually have some target dates...now I just need to focus & really make it happen.
> Re-visit WDW with my kids now a bit older, but will still experience the Disney magic...target 2012
> Re-visit Italy with my kids ...my initial thought - target 2015 (eldest will be 10, twins will be 8)...it still may be possible
> Re-visit Hawaii - wonderful husband and I agreed that our 20 year anniversary would be a nice time to do this - and agreed that we would love to stay at the new Disney resort there - target: 2020
Now for the things I haven't yet visited and want to make sure I see in my life-time:
> Carlsbad Caverns & sit at the natural amphitheater to see the millions of bats leave the cave at dusk
> See the Northern Lights - wonderful husband suggested an Alaskan cruise - great idea!
> Swim, or shall I say: float, in the Dead Sea
> See Rio de Janeiro
> Hang in blue jeans and a flannel shirt at a Colorado dude ranch
> Fish in Canada - yes, I want to go fishing in Canada
> Camp in Yellowstone - yep, camp
> Stay in a treehouse in Oregon
> Take a trip to the Grand Canyon via the Grand Canyon railway
> Go on an old-school romantic trip to Niagra Falls with only the wonderful husband
> See NYC, the Statue of Liberty and see a Broadway play
> Re-visit Macinaw island with the family, eat a lot of fudge and bike around (making new memories like I did with my family on our trip that had the best thunderstorm story a vacation ever had)
> Ski in Colorado - I'm a little scared after I skiied the Alps in '95, and got a lost, had to scoot down a black diamond on my butt, but survived (while my friends all watched me at the bottom of one big hill). This time, I want to get a good map, speak the language well & take a lesson.
> Travel up the East Coast to Maine and eat some lobster
Reviewing my 'travel ideas' folder...there are a lot of other places, but I should rank them in second place & really focus on getting to this list above done...then I can keep adding & adding.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Standards
Today I thought about standards. This was a note that I shared with a few of my friends, after seeing a curious post on FB today. It was a random post that showed up because a friend 'liked' this picture.
I just thought...what is this woman thinking? This is a pre-school class...she attaches a note that they can't even read? What kind of standards are they setting for these kids? Damned over-achiever.
I'm just happy to state that this working mom, like some other working & stay-at-home moms, will always plan on sending my kids to school with just plain oreos, in the blue & white packaging that they come in, and will expect those kids to be happy...scrap that...thrilled. After all, they are getting cookies, right?
Geesh. I refuse to let any part of comparison mom-guilt eek in after looking at this post.
I just thought...what is this woman thinking? This is a pre-school class...she attaches a note that they can't even read? What kind of standards are they setting for these kids? Damned over-achiever.
I'm just happy to state that this working mom, like some other working & stay-at-home moms, will always plan on sending my kids to school with just plain oreos, in the blue & white packaging that they come in, and will expect those kids to be happy...scrap that...thrilled. After all, they are getting cookies, right?
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
It just looks like paint
The combination of blogging and taking the commuter train has sparked in me a new interest in sociology. I never took a course in high school or college, because theater always met that cluster criteria, but every day working in the city I observe the oddest behavior with adults and starts my brain wondering. Today:
A 60 year old business man dressed in a suit walking through the Union Station terminal bouncing a blue raquet ball as he walked. My curiosity: could this be a stress reliever or a sensory thing?
But what had me pondering more was the interaction between a few women on the train. I can't exactly figure out if they were being friendly to each other, or just vicious. On the train, groups of people regularly hang around because they see each other daily at the station and sit together. Here is what happened between two women:
Woman 1 loudly, as she boarded the train: "It looks like paint. It just looks like paint."
Woman 2: {nothing} I couldn't figure out who was Woman 2 yet, but I started to look around wondering what looked like mis-placed paint, or a paint splat.
[train chugs on and approachs Union Station. People start to prematurely line up in the aisle to disembark]
Woman 1 to Woman 2, standing in the aisle, with 3 people in between Woman 1 & Woman 2.
Woman 1, through all the people in the aisle: "It looks just like paint. I wouldn't worry, people won't think anything."
Woman 2: "Oh, yea, I have to figure out what to do." {looks back on her khacki pants at what looks like chocolate frosting} Ah ha! I found out who Woman 2 is!
Woman 1: "Don't worry about it at all, maybe take your jacket & put it around your waste. By the way how is your GERD doing?"
Woman 2, semi-quietly: "What?"
Woman 1, louder: "Your GERD!?"
Woman 2, semi-quietly, looking around at all of us now watching her: "Oh, it's okay, I'm eating things now, like tomatoes..." this is when I started to drown her out.
So, I'm curious: what was Woman 1's intention of calling Woman 2's bad morning out in front of 50 people on the commuter train? Kind of mean, if you ask me. Maybe at the most, only the person standing behind Woman 2 would notice she had something on her pants and she could have stumbled through the day unnoticed...but instead Woman 1 called her out in front of everyone. I'm wondering if Woman 1 realized how mean she was being and how she was making this woman's morning even worse.
Good luck to that poor woman with the chocolate frosting on her derriere; may her walk through the city be a brisk one, with everyone behind her looking up.
A 60 year old business man dressed in a suit walking through the Union Station terminal bouncing a blue raquet ball as he walked. My curiosity: could this be a stress reliever or a sensory thing?
But what had me pondering more was the interaction between a few women on the train. I can't exactly figure out if they were being friendly to each other, or just vicious. On the train, groups of people regularly hang around because they see each other daily at the station and sit together. Here is what happened between two women:
Woman 1 loudly, as she boarded the train: "It looks like paint. It just looks like paint."
Woman 2: {nothing} I couldn't figure out who was Woman 2 yet, but I started to look around wondering what looked like mis-placed paint, or a paint splat.
[train chugs on and approachs Union Station. People start to prematurely line up in the aisle to disembark]
Woman 1 to Woman 2, standing in the aisle, with 3 people in between Woman 1 & Woman 2.
Woman 1, through all the people in the aisle: "It looks just like paint. I wouldn't worry, people won't think anything."
Woman 2: "Oh, yea, I have to figure out what to do." {looks back on her khacki pants at what looks like chocolate frosting} Ah ha! I found out who Woman 2 is!
Woman 1: "Don't worry about it at all, maybe take your jacket & put it around your waste. By the way how is your GERD doing?"
Woman 2, semi-quietly: "What?"
Woman 1, louder: "Your GERD!?"
Woman 2, semi-quietly, looking around at all of us now watching her: "Oh, it's okay, I'm eating things now, like tomatoes..." this is when I started to drown her out.
So, I'm curious: what was Woman 1's intention of calling Woman 2's bad morning out in front of 50 people on the commuter train? Kind of mean, if you ask me. Maybe at the most, only the person standing behind Woman 2 would notice she had something on her pants and she could have stumbled through the day unnoticed...but instead Woman 1 called her out in front of everyone. I'm wondering if Woman 1 realized how mean she was being and how she was making this woman's morning even worse.
Good luck to that poor woman with the chocolate frosting on her derriere; may her walk through the city be a brisk one, with everyone behind her looking up.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Failures
Failing is scary - especially for a Type A person like me. After almost 36 years, I'm coming to terms with trying to be okay with the chance of failing, or shall we say, not 'Exceeding' at every little thing I do.
Trying to balance a full time job, with kids, is hard - I'm bound to fail somewhere and just the thought of that is scary. I'm always worried I'm running at risk at work and that I'm not doing enough, or the right things for my kids...both these worries are ridiculous.
I realized that not everyone can, or should, do every job perfectly. I'm going to start to do things that are scary for me to start living in the now (thanks to one of my friend's reading a book) and just focusing on today since thinking about every possible future scenario that I run through in my head is all fictional (thanks to my counselor, who pointed out to me that it's not preparing me for anything since I don't know the future).
I have to admit to myself that I'm good at figuring things out. I am able to figure out how work a full time job, schedule 3 different therapy appointments for a kid who is also in school, how to get kids the right daycare and physically to daycare, how to get myself to the train, and even things like how to get to the grocery store. As my birthday slowly approaches, this next year I'm going to try to focus on only dealing with today.
The first step towards this new mentality is completed: Over vacation I decided to run a Warrior Dash 5K race about 15 hours before our group was leaving for the actual event. This meant that I had to go buy shoes, socks, a shirt and sports bra...not really knowing if I could even do it (currently, I don't know how to balance exercising in my crazy life). But I did it & it was fun. I was really proud of myself, I didn't EXCEED at it...I didn't need to, all I needed to do was do it. It felt great. It was weird to tell people how proud of myself I was...but I'm really proud of myself.
I'm going to print a picture of me in this race and put it on my desk at work - that is how proud I am of myself. This picture will be a daily reminder that I decided & figured something out on the fly and I didn't exceed at it...I had fun just doing it. This picture will take it's place along with the other few momentos I have at my desk & see daily that remind me of who I am and what I am here for:
1. A picture of my kids
2. A photo of me at 18 with my parents at the International airport terminal, leaving for a semester in Rome. My mom said she had this same picture of me in her office because she always admired that I was brave enough to just get on that plane without knowing any other students. I'm sure I was scared at the moment, but I just did it, it seemed right & I loved it.
3. A wedding picture of wonderful husband and I, with the biggest smiles on our faces
4. A 45 bulleted list that my dad sent me with a few reminders...some like "No one is in charge of your happiness but you" and "No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up" and "Life isn't fair, but it's still good" and "What other people think of you is none of your business"
5. 3 cards from my kids with scribbles saying nice things like 'I notice all the hardwork you do'
6. A Real Simple cut-out quote from Esther De Wall, Seeking God: The way of St. Benedict: "Wealth consists not in having great possessions but in having few wants."
7. A work related certification that I studied 9 months to achieve
Even though there are records of how fast a person completes a race, and scores on your annual work performance review, when it comes down to it...only I can set my own scale to determine an achievement.
Trying to balance a full time job, with kids, is hard - I'm bound to fail somewhere and just the thought of that is scary. I'm always worried I'm running at risk at work and that I'm not doing enough, or the right things for my kids...both these worries are ridiculous.
I realized that not everyone can, or should, do every job perfectly. I'm going to start to do things that are scary for me to start living in the now (thanks to one of my friend's reading a book) and just focusing on today since thinking about every possible future scenario that I run through in my head is all fictional (thanks to my counselor, who pointed out to me that it's not preparing me for anything since I don't know the future).
I have to admit to myself that I'm good at figuring things out. I am able to figure out how work a full time job, schedule 3 different therapy appointments for a kid who is also in school, how to get kids the right daycare and physically to daycare, how to get myself to the train, and even things like how to get to the grocery store. As my birthday slowly approaches, this next year I'm going to try to focus on only dealing with today.
The first step towards this new mentality is completed: Over vacation I decided to run a Warrior Dash 5K race about 15 hours before our group was leaving for the actual event. This meant that I had to go buy shoes, socks, a shirt and sports bra...not really knowing if I could even do it (currently, I don't know how to balance exercising in my crazy life). But I did it & it was fun. I was really proud of myself, I didn't EXCEED at it...I didn't need to, all I needed to do was do it. It felt great. It was weird to tell people how proud of myself I was...but I'm really proud of myself.
I'm going to print a picture of me in this race and put it on my desk at work - that is how proud I am of myself. This picture will be a daily reminder that I decided & figured something out on the fly and I didn't exceed at it...I had fun just doing it. This picture will take it's place along with the other few momentos I have at my desk & see daily that remind me of who I am and what I am here for:
1. A picture of my kids
2. A photo of me at 18 with my parents at the International airport terminal, leaving for a semester in Rome. My mom said she had this same picture of me in her office because she always admired that I was brave enough to just get on that plane without knowing any other students. I'm sure I was scared at the moment, but I just did it, it seemed right & I loved it.
3. A wedding picture of wonderful husband and I, with the biggest smiles on our faces
4. A 45 bulleted list that my dad sent me with a few reminders...some like "No one is in charge of your happiness but you" and "No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up" and "Life isn't fair, but it's still good" and "What other people think of you is none of your business"
5. 3 cards from my kids with scribbles saying nice things like 'I notice all the hardwork you do'
6. A Real Simple cut-out quote from Esther De Wall, Seeking God: The way of St. Benedict: "Wealth consists not in having great possessions but in having few wants."
7. A work related certification that I studied 9 months to achieve
Even though there are records of how fast a person completes a race, and scores on your annual work performance review, when it comes down to it...only I can set my own scale to determine an achievement.
Friday, July 29, 2011
My mixing bowl is empty
Thank goodness for friends - I am thankful every day for my friends. Just in the last week, I've been starting to get anxiety thinking about all the upcoming changes and events, and fearing the possibility of what can go wrong (so my counselor says)...even though I categorize it as just thinking of all the tasks that lie ahead.
I had fear in mulling over the logistics of a new all day kindergarten schedule, twins in daycare, 3 days of therapy sessions, and fitting in a full time job. Just thinking about how I'd feed the eldest breakfast in the morning was giving me a fast heart beat.
Hanging with my friends brings me peace, it helps me realize that I'm not the only one going through this stuff and that makes everything in life easier to handle. One thing we were discussing is how a situation, no matter how hard it may seem, could always be worse. We had a wonderful conversation about books, international films, dealing with life: how we want it to be compared to how it is turning out, and just laughing about everything else.
Since our night out, I've been thinking that my situation is not so terrible. Every morning I'm finding myself thankful that there are no surprises in my mixing bowl - it's empty (thank goodness). My life is good & I'll get through this change. Let's face it, no one likes change. Change is scary and uncomfortable. Change is unknown. But the change will come and go and I'll survive, then I'll laugh about it with my friends.
I had fear in mulling over the logistics of a new all day kindergarten schedule, twins in daycare, 3 days of therapy sessions, and fitting in a full time job. Just thinking about how I'd feed the eldest breakfast in the morning was giving me a fast heart beat.
Hanging with my friends brings me peace, it helps me realize that I'm not the only one going through this stuff and that makes everything in life easier to handle. One thing we were discussing is how a situation, no matter how hard it may seem, could always be worse. We had a wonderful conversation about books, international films, dealing with life: how we want it to be compared to how it is turning out, and just laughing about everything else.
Since our night out, I've been thinking that my situation is not so terrible. Every morning I'm finding myself thankful that there are no surprises in my mixing bowl - it's empty (thank goodness). My life is good & I'll get through this change. Let's face it, no one likes change. Change is scary and uncomfortable. Change is unknown. But the change will come and go and I'll survive, then I'll laugh about it with my friends.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Diet
Diet fuels our body. Diet affects us. How much is it affecting us? Its a trend, yes, but when it is a real thing it's frustrating.
I had a great conversation with my lovely and smart, 14 year old cousin this weekend who has celiac. She was educating me all about it and how she feels better after changing her diet last year when she started researching it. Now, at 14, she understands it, reads food labels and watches her diet. Unintentionally, this is the second conversation with celiac experts I have had in a week, and those experts are not medical professionals.
I first heard about this gluten allergy 13 years ago, with wonderful husband's first cousin who has dealt with this allergy her whole life. This was before gluten free was trendy. Wonderful husband's aunt had only 2 or 3 speciality food stores in the entire south side that she had at her disposal for buying raw ingredients and staples, she couldn't go to the main grocery store and buy things like you can now. At family parties, this cousin would have her own personal pizza and other things that only she could eat.
Lovely and smart cousin loves us so much that she pointed out maybe my eldest has celiac. I couldn't believe it. This was the second person in a week who mentioned it. What I love about this 14 year old is that she's looking out for our best interset, she's not worried about making me angry or setting me off, which I wouldn't. If you love us, it's like what the new psa says 'if you see something, say something.'
She pointed out that eldest is super skinny (which I've noticed only recently) and we now know he has officially been diagnosed with ADHD. Deeper into our conversation, we were off topic talking about genetics and how her sister and I are both adopted and it's frustrating to not know about some genetic links. When I told lovely and smart cousin that I had psoriasis, she leapt out of her seat and said 'THAT IS A SYMPTOM OF CELIAC!'.
Could it be? I think maybe. The other person who mentioned celiac to me was eldest's Occupational Therapsit, another one who will say something if she sees something, and rightfully so. Occupational Therapist was shocked when I told her how much my eldest eats. I guess these are things you forget to tell the arsenal of therapist and medical professionals.
This week I have a meeting with the neurologist. I will mention I want eldest tested for celiac. If he's not the right person, I will go to the pediatrian. If she's not the right person, I will go to the geneticist. If she's not the right person, I will add a new person to the arsenal and call my allergist.
The crazy thing is that I just found out this week that wonderful husband's 23 year old cousin who has had celiac for all these years, also has been on medication for ADHD since childhood. Could eldest be just like her? I think I have a now 20 year vertan in an aunt to add to the arsenal. (it's a good thing this is the one who likes me)
I never realized that along with all the things I am: daughter, sister, cousin, friend, wife, working stiff, mom...I'm also a detective, finding and listening all the time for little clues to help us all along.
I had a great conversation with my lovely and smart, 14 year old cousin this weekend who has celiac. She was educating me all about it and how she feels better after changing her diet last year when she started researching it. Now, at 14, she understands it, reads food labels and watches her diet. Unintentionally, this is the second conversation with celiac experts I have had in a week, and those experts are not medical professionals.
I first heard about this gluten allergy 13 years ago, with wonderful husband's first cousin who has dealt with this allergy her whole life. This was before gluten free was trendy. Wonderful husband's aunt had only 2 or 3 speciality food stores in the entire south side that she had at her disposal for buying raw ingredients and staples, she couldn't go to the main grocery store and buy things like you can now. At family parties, this cousin would have her own personal pizza and other things that only she could eat.
Lovely and smart cousin loves us so much that she pointed out maybe my eldest has celiac. I couldn't believe it. This was the second person in a week who mentioned it. What I love about this 14 year old is that she's looking out for our best interset, she's not worried about making me angry or setting me off, which I wouldn't. If you love us, it's like what the new psa says 'if you see something, say something.'
She pointed out that eldest is super skinny (which I've noticed only recently) and we now know he has officially been diagnosed with ADHD. Deeper into our conversation, we were off topic talking about genetics and how her sister and I are both adopted and it's frustrating to not know about some genetic links. When I told lovely and smart cousin that I had psoriasis, she leapt out of her seat and said 'THAT IS A SYMPTOM OF CELIAC!'.
Could it be? I think maybe. The other person who mentioned celiac to me was eldest's Occupational Therapsit, another one who will say something if she sees something, and rightfully so. Occupational Therapist was shocked when I told her how much my eldest eats. I guess these are things you forget to tell the arsenal of therapist and medical professionals.
This week I have a meeting with the neurologist. I will mention I want eldest tested for celiac. If he's not the right person, I will go to the pediatrian. If she's not the right person, I will go to the geneticist. If she's not the right person, I will add a new person to the arsenal and call my allergist.
The crazy thing is that I just found out this week that wonderful husband's 23 year old cousin who has had celiac for all these years, also has been on medication for ADHD since childhood. Could eldest be just like her? I think I have a now 20 year vertan in an aunt to add to the arsenal. (it's a good thing this is the one who likes me)
I never realized that along with all the things I am: daughter, sister, cousin, friend, wife, working stiff, mom...I'm also a detective, finding and listening all the time for little clues to help us all along.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Unlucky, Lucky Day
So I started out today kind of unlucky - went to get on my bike & the chain came off, so I had to take the car. I didn't let it upset me, just brushed it off. Sweet baby boy was upset, because he wanted to take me to the train so he could get munchkins, but his sibs were all still asleep. I missed the first train on purpose so I could relax, get some coffee & meet up with my train friends. It wasn't that bad of a morning, even with the glitch.
When I arrived in my office, I got a voicemail that I won a lunch for 10 people from Chipotle! Wow! Really? Last week I dropped my card in the fishbowl & I actually won. Oh lucky day today is. This prize is good for this week only, and today is my one day downtown this week- so it had to be today. I was meeting up for lunch with a friend in honor of his birthday, so wrote him to put away his cash, lunch was 'on me' today!
The other 8 people I had to round up. Wonderful husband is on the beat today, but wouldn't be around the loop...he was ruled out. 2 people were here in the office were taking part. 1 of the 2 train friends was free also & would meet me there to pick up her loot. My sister wasn't answering her phone (I think she was in court) and her pregnant bff who works right by me, got my message too late.
So there were 5 other openings...I decided to let the old gals from my team join in the fun. They were all downtown today too. The first told me she was really busy today & asked me if I could do it tomorrow instead. The second responded with 'absolutely - I love free stuff'. The third thanked me & then thanked me again after she ate it. People who I've told them about could probably match the three with their respective responses. I'm still happy to share in the fun, more so because if they ever got wind that I had this free lunch & didn't include them, they'd probably hate me for life (and I'm not joking there).
I sat outside with my friend and we enjoyed our lunch. I bought candy & 2 lotto cards on the way back to my desk...I won $2 (played $7)...but still won again. Oh lucky day. I wonder what the rest of the day has in store.
When I arrived in my office, I got a voicemail that I won a lunch for 10 people from Chipotle! Wow! Really? Last week I dropped my card in the fishbowl & I actually won. Oh lucky day today is. This prize is good for this week only, and today is my one day downtown this week- so it had to be today. I was meeting up for lunch with a friend in honor of his birthday, so wrote him to put away his cash, lunch was 'on me' today!
The other 8 people I had to round up. Wonderful husband is on the beat today, but wouldn't be around the loop...he was ruled out. 2 people were here in the office were taking part. 1 of the 2 train friends was free also & would meet me there to pick up her loot. My sister wasn't answering her phone (I think she was in court) and her pregnant bff who works right by me, got my message too late.
So there were 5 other openings...I decided to let the old gals from my team join in the fun. They were all downtown today too. The first told me she was really busy today & asked me if I could do it tomorrow instead. The second responded with 'absolutely - I love free stuff'. The third thanked me & then thanked me again after she ate it. People who I've told them about could probably match the three with their respective responses. I'm still happy to share in the fun, more so because if they ever got wind that I had this free lunch & didn't include them, they'd probably hate me for life (and I'm not joking there).
I sat outside with my friend and we enjoyed our lunch. I bought candy & 2 lotto cards on the way back to my desk...I won $2 (played $7)...but still won again. Oh lucky day. I wonder what the rest of the day has in store.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Dust
So, on this tightrope of things to do, trying to limit the amount of dust around the house perplexes me. One may ask: "The amount of dust? How is that possibly in your control?"
Well, my basement is an open layout and I find that dryer lint is a major cause of dust in the basement. I think it even flies through the ventilation of our house via the furnace. But how does one lessen the chore of dusting by minimizing the cause: that inevitable plumb of dust when you wipe clean the dryer lint screen.
With a house of 5 we go through a lot of laundry on a regular basis. Its been a while I've been pondering over a potential solution. One option was to keep up on dusting and vacuuming the basement, but that was only adding one more thing to my long list of duties. This next option, I recently tried, must to my amazement, seems to be working:
Wipe the lint screen INSIDE the dryer barrel
It may be my positive attitude lately, but I honestly think that it may be working. How simple! I vacuumed the basement yesterday, and typically the vacuum canister would be filled with denim blue lint puffs, but this time it was nearly empty. I've also noticed that there is no longer that fine layer of dryer lint on the actual washing and dryer machines.
I think I found a solution! Hooray! Little things like this is what makes walking across the daily tightrope faster and therefore, easier.
Well, my basement is an open layout and I find that dryer lint is a major cause of dust in the basement. I think it even flies through the ventilation of our house via the furnace. But how does one lessen the chore of dusting by minimizing the cause: that inevitable plumb of dust when you wipe clean the dryer lint screen.
With a house of 5 we go through a lot of laundry on a regular basis. Its been a while I've been pondering over a potential solution. One option was to keep up on dusting and vacuuming the basement, but that was only adding one more thing to my long list of duties. This next option, I recently tried, must to my amazement, seems to be working:
Wipe the lint screen INSIDE the dryer barrel
It may be my positive attitude lately, but I honestly think that it may be working. How simple! I vacuumed the basement yesterday, and typically the vacuum canister would be filled with denim blue lint puffs, but this time it was nearly empty. I've also noticed that there is no longer that fine layer of dryer lint on the actual washing and dryer machines.
I think I found a solution! Hooray! Little things like this is what makes walking across the daily tightrope faster and therefore, easier.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Sisters
Thank goodness for sisters. I am finding such joy in my sisters. One sister is getting married and we have been planning, partying, reading, and idea-generating. The other sister is a new mom and we have been cooing, reassuring, playing and adoring.
My sisters and I are not genetically linked, but yet we are sisters to the core. So much of us is similar, but yet we are so different. It's fun, it's like having a best friend because at first glance a stranger may not assume we are related, but yet we are. We may not look alike, but we act alike, understand each other, and love each other. It's great.
Last night my sister cracked me up by sharing an embarrassing story of herself. It made us laugh so hard. It was nice that she felt comfortable enough to share it & laugh in retrospect about it with me. It also made me feel like I'm not alone in the world & I'm not the only one who has mishaps. Her story was something that I would feel is always and inevitably something I would do...it was nice to see I'm not alone in the world...and thanks to my wonderful sisters, we have someone to share in the laughter and keep the chaos of life and mistakes we make in perspective.
My sisters and I are not genetically linked, but yet we are sisters to the core. So much of us is similar, but yet we are so different. It's fun, it's like having a best friend because at first glance a stranger may not assume we are related, but yet we are. We may not look alike, but we act alike, understand each other, and love each other. It's great.
Last night my sister cracked me up by sharing an embarrassing story of herself. It made us laugh so hard. It was nice that she felt comfortable enough to share it & laugh in retrospect about it with me. It also made me feel like I'm not alone in the world & I'm not the only one who has mishaps. Her story was something that I would feel is always and inevitably something I would do...it was nice to see I'm not alone in the world...and thanks to my wonderful sisters, we have someone to share in the laughter and keep the chaos of life and mistakes we make in perspective.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Happy, Rainy Day
The weather changes all our moods 'whether' we like it or not. Rainy days, however, do not necessarily mean our day has to be droopy and weary. True, we are not able to hang outside, al fresco and enjoy the summer weather like we did yesterday with my great cousin and his fantastic wife (whom we all adore). Instead, here is what I like to do which makes my rainy days nice:
1. Wear a skirt.
Your pant legs won't get wet and you look cute. Look good = feel good, right?
2. Treat yourself to something fun.
I had the kids drop me off at the train today which always brightens my mornings, but to make today special, I treated each of them to two Dunkin Donuts munchkins.
3. Choose to be sunny.
Every conversation I'm consciously trying to be upbeat and happy. Almost like generate my own sun. I like to believe it rubs off on everyone.
4. When outside, breathe deeply and look around.
The air is nice when it rains. It smells wonderful and the moist air feels good in your lungs. Also, rain makes the colors of everyday look beautiful. The grass and trees are so green, all the plants are standing up straight from the good, natural nutrition.
These are some of the things I choose to do for my rainy days.
1. Wear a skirt.
Your pant legs won't get wet and you look cute. Look good = feel good, right?
2. Treat yourself to something fun.
I had the kids drop me off at the train today which always brightens my mornings, but to make today special, I treated each of them to two Dunkin Donuts munchkins.
3. Choose to be sunny.
Every conversation I'm consciously trying to be upbeat and happy. Almost like generate my own sun. I like to believe it rubs off on everyone.
4. When outside, breathe deeply and look around.
The air is nice when it rains. It smells wonderful and the moist air feels good in your lungs. Also, rain makes the colors of everyday look beautiful. The grass and trees are so green, all the plants are standing up straight from the good, natural nutrition.
These are some of the things I choose to do for my rainy days.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Moving offices & being nice
Well, I was starting to write about how fun my weekend is going to be, until I just received a phone call from my eldest's first optomitrist office.
My eldest has ADHD, offically. So, it's hard for him to follow instructions and figure out what adults mean. Most of the time, he needs to be physically shown what you mean, then it clicks for him. But how do you show someone where to look and how to keep your eyeball straight for an eye doctor's assistant to take a picture of your retina? You really can't - trust me, we've tried.
Well, this first eye doctor that we went to was good (the doctor, that is), however his office staff wasn't - they were the exact opposite, which is bad for a pediatric optomitrist. The office staff is made up of a bunch of old ladies who treat you like you are constantly bothering them. They get clearly annoyed with my son who can't follow what they are trying to have him do, and to top it off, they have old raspy voices. They have names like Artie...just not friendly, pediatric like. You'd think they would have the Fantastic Sams stage names like Susie or GiGi or something to help them along.
Well, after a year of being annoyed, we tried a new eye doctor & liked this new one much more. For one, they bill our insurance correctly. The former place was actually telling me it was MY problem that the insurance was not being billed right...all the while it was them who were putting the wrong birthdate on the bill...but I regress.
Just last week, I had received a post card for a reminder to setup a follow up appointment with this original eye-guy. I didn't call. Just now, I just got a "friendly" reminder call from Artie about the post card I didn't call about. It was time to break the news: I had switched doctors. I said it as nicely as possible: 'Oh, Hi! Yes, thank you, we got the post card, but we have moved offices.' That was how I put it, nice, polite and direct. Well, she said 'ok.' and hung up. She didn't even say 'good bye' or 'thank you'.
This is a reminder to me: customer service is always important. Being nice to people is important. You should be nice even if you personally are having a bad day
My mom, sisters and I often comment about how crabby old people like 'Artie' were probably crappy young people. I'm going to continue trying to be nice (it doesn't always happen, but I will try). And I will always say 'Thank you' and 'Goodbye' to people on the phone. You are welcome, Artie...thank you for reminding me I don't want to be a crappy 'young' person, so I can try to avoid being a crabby old lady.
My eldest has ADHD, offically. So, it's hard for him to follow instructions and figure out what adults mean. Most of the time, he needs to be physically shown what you mean, then it clicks for him. But how do you show someone where to look and how to keep your eyeball straight for an eye doctor's assistant to take a picture of your retina? You really can't - trust me, we've tried.
Well, this first eye doctor that we went to was good (the doctor, that is), however his office staff wasn't - they were the exact opposite, which is bad for a pediatric optomitrist. The office staff is made up of a bunch of old ladies who treat you like you are constantly bothering them. They get clearly annoyed with my son who can't follow what they are trying to have him do, and to top it off, they have old raspy voices. They have names like Artie...just not friendly, pediatric like. You'd think they would have the Fantastic Sams stage names like Susie or GiGi or something to help them along.
Well, after a year of being annoyed, we tried a new eye doctor & liked this new one much more. For one, they bill our insurance correctly. The former place was actually telling me it was MY problem that the insurance was not being billed right...all the while it was them who were putting the wrong birthdate on the bill...but I regress.
Just last week, I had received a post card for a reminder to setup a follow up appointment with this original eye-guy. I didn't call. Just now, I just got a "friendly" reminder call from Artie about the post card I didn't call about. It was time to break the news: I had switched doctors. I said it as nicely as possible: 'Oh, Hi! Yes, thank you, we got the post card, but we have moved offices.' That was how I put it, nice, polite and direct. Well, she said 'ok.' and hung up. She didn't even say 'good bye' or 'thank you'.
This is a reminder to me: customer service is always important. Being nice to people is important. You should be nice even if you personally are having a bad day
My mom, sisters and I often comment about how crabby old people like 'Artie' were probably crappy young people. I'm going to continue trying to be nice (it doesn't always happen, but I will try). And I will always say 'Thank you' and 'Goodbye' to people on the phone. You are welcome, Artie...thank you for reminding me I don't want to be a crappy 'young' person, so I can try to avoid being a crabby old lady.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Goodbye already
I already mentioned how I like the 'voluntary simplicity' movement and how I find cleaning things out is therapeutic. I do have to recognize tossing things is not meant for everyone.
Right now I am dealing with a situation that is teetering on difficult, but in perspective, only for me. The two people I worked with on my team have both left my group to move within the company. One of these girls is a pal of mine and will continue to be. But there is something to be said about moving on...and for me, it's therapeutic to get rid of everything & move on. A fresh start. For both of my former teammates, they are hoarders. Their desks have tons of stuff, they admiditly don't toss anything in case they may need it in the future and even their inboxes are a mess.
So, is it any wonder that even though they have moved 6 floors down, they still have crap up here? For them they don't see a problem with it - it's all sentimental & gooey for them. They are excited about their new position & melancholy about leaving our group, so that is understandable. For me, it's quite the opposite...I want them gone gone gone...and all their junk too. I have to recognize that I need to ignore this. In the grand scheme of things, this is temporary and not that big of a deal. We all deal with clutter differently; there are tossers (me) and hoarders (them). I will be counting down the days until every last bit of their files, unused plasticware, tee shirts, other crap is gone from our greige minicity, otherwise known as an office cube.
Right now I am dealing with a situation that is teetering on difficult, but in perspective, only for me. The two people I worked with on my team have both left my group to move within the company. One of these girls is a pal of mine and will continue to be. But there is something to be said about moving on...and for me, it's therapeutic to get rid of everything & move on. A fresh start. For both of my former teammates, they are hoarders. Their desks have tons of stuff, they admiditly don't toss anything in case they may need it in the future and even their inboxes are a mess.
So, is it any wonder that even though they have moved 6 floors down, they still have crap up here? For them they don't see a problem with it - it's all sentimental & gooey for them. They are excited about their new position & melancholy about leaving our group, so that is understandable. For me, it's quite the opposite...I want them gone gone gone...and all their junk too. I have to recognize that I need to ignore this. In the grand scheme of things, this is temporary and not that big of a deal. We all deal with clutter differently; there are tossers (me) and hoarders (them). I will be counting down the days until every last bit of their files, unused plasticware, tee shirts, other crap is gone from our greige minicity, otherwise known as an office cube.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
3 wishes?
I have a lot to pray for. There are many people in my life who can use prayers, myself included. Though, I find it hard to pray for myself. It's hard to pick the right prayer, and to me, it seems greedy to ask for something for myself or something really specific. I come to face a challenge with praying for my children, I feel like sometimes praying for them, is the same as praying for me. It's my wish, it's my request...it may be to make their challenges easier, but is that also to make my own life easier? Is it that God believes I would be able to handle these certain trials & I shouldn't challenge him, but yet embrace them? I struggle with this often.
I believe in miracles & I believe in prayer. I believe if you pray for others, those prayers are super strong. There are a few opportunities that have the opportunity for very direct lines to God and have more weight than the average prayer. I truly believe giving up a birthday wish is one opportunity. I have seen more than 2 birthday wishes come true right after someone has given them away. I honestly envision the smoke from the candles going directly to heaven with that special wish. I also believe in the special prayer when you first enter a new church. My mom believes in this more than anything & I think she has visited more churches than anyone...I wonder if she has kept track - she'd probably be impressed with herself.
It's the same for non-religious types, like wishing on a star. Even as a kid, I never wanted to wish just for something for myself, so I'd always feel better wishing for a general thing or for someone else, but never too specific.
I'm facing a genie in a bottle situation...my cousin is going to Medjugorje in just a week. I was told I can write down my petitions for the Virgin Mary and they will bring them with. This is huge! I feel like I've never had a direct line to Mary. Can I put a bulleted list? A long list? A short list? Can I ask for only one petition? One petition per person? How many requests is asking too much?
This petition is something that I'm adding to my list of things to do. It's an important one, so with focusing on work tasks for today...my soul has to work on getting it's petition together, and it has to be a good one!
I believe in miracles & I believe in prayer. I believe if you pray for others, those prayers are super strong. There are a few opportunities that have the opportunity for very direct lines to God and have more weight than the average prayer. I truly believe giving up a birthday wish is one opportunity. I have seen more than 2 birthday wishes come true right after someone has given them away. I honestly envision the smoke from the candles going directly to heaven with that special wish. I also believe in the special prayer when you first enter a new church. My mom believes in this more than anything & I think she has visited more churches than anyone...I wonder if she has kept track - she'd probably be impressed with herself.
It's the same for non-religious types, like wishing on a star. Even as a kid, I never wanted to wish just for something for myself, so I'd always feel better wishing for a general thing or for someone else, but never too specific.
I'm facing a genie in a bottle situation...my cousin is going to Medjugorje in just a week. I was told I can write down my petitions for the Virgin Mary and they will bring them with. This is huge! I feel like I've never had a direct line to Mary. Can I put a bulleted list? A long list? A short list? Can I ask for only one petition? One petition per person? How many requests is asking too much?
This petition is something that I'm adding to my list of things to do. It's an important one, so with focusing on work tasks for today...my soul has to work on getting it's petition together, and it has to be a good one!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Voluntary Simplicity
It's a trend I've been wanting to explore & think I have been at it for a while...as Oprah would say 'leaning towards' it. Just little bits, but I'm finding the less I want, the more I acknowledge that I want less, the happier & more worry free I'm becoming.
Is this possible? For quite a while I find it therapeudic to throw things away. I am turning into my own mom. I remember how I used to be annoyed that she would toss so much, but now I do the same. I don't want to be tied down, I want to live within my means, I want to be sustainable. Sustainable financially, emotionally & responsibly to the earth.
Giving things away is a good feeling, freeing up a corner in my house, even better. The less I'm making of my baggage, the easier it is to walk across the tightrope.
Wonderful husband still hasn't mentioned one word to me about the free-standing punching bag that I got rid of on freecycle about 3 years ago. My friends couldn't believe I did it, but still, either he has just accepted that after almost 11 years I toss things he doesn't use, or he really, truly hasn't noticed...it's a wonderful thing. It's how we live in harmony and appreciate each other. This is how we root each other on for our own feats and acrobatics.
If I had to label wonderful husband as a circus act, he would be a lion tamer...calm, sure of himself, and centered...I'm the tightrope walker, balancing everything on a fine line, somehow figuring it out how to get it all done without falling off.
There are lots of things that help me keep my balance...people in my life and the love from these many different people. It's love that is simply the thing we all need. I want to voluntarily give it back to these same people. After all, love makes the world go round...gosh, this is the theme song from 'Carnival', my senior year play...funny that I just realized I'm still in the theater with an circus theme.
Is this possible? For quite a while I find it therapeudic to throw things away. I am turning into my own mom. I remember how I used to be annoyed that she would toss so much, but now I do the same. I don't want to be tied down, I want to live within my means, I want to be sustainable. Sustainable financially, emotionally & responsibly to the earth.
Giving things away is a good feeling, freeing up a corner in my house, even better. The less I'm making of my baggage, the easier it is to walk across the tightrope.
Wonderful husband still hasn't mentioned one word to me about the free-standing punching bag that I got rid of on freecycle about 3 years ago. My friends couldn't believe I did it, but still, either he has just accepted that after almost 11 years I toss things he doesn't use, or he really, truly hasn't noticed...it's a wonderful thing. It's how we live in harmony and appreciate each other. This is how we root each other on for our own feats and acrobatics.
If I had to label wonderful husband as a circus act, he would be a lion tamer...calm, sure of himself, and centered...I'm the tightrope walker, balancing everything on a fine line, somehow figuring it out how to get it all done without falling off.
There are lots of things that help me keep my balance...people in my life and the love from these many different people. It's love that is simply the thing we all need. I want to voluntarily give it back to these same people. After all, love makes the world go round...gosh, this is the theme song from 'Carnival', my senior year play...funny that I just realized I'm still in the theater with an circus theme.
Friday, June 10, 2011
The definition of a weed
I heard once that a weed is simply a plant that is not where it is wanted. This could mean that a pretty flowering plant, but not where you wanted it to reside, would be a weed. So, I've been disappointed in myself for not getting my beautiful built-in planter on my front steps filled with the pretty annuals that I usually plant. I also bought a free-standing tomato and herb planter. Both sit empty, but with some things in them (the free standing planter has 2 pots of herbs, waiting for soil). What I realized one night this week, while I was sitting on my porch with my neighbor, after the kids were in bed, I made mention on how I have to plant flowers. She looked at the 5 feet of the planter and asked, you didn't plant all this stuff? She was referring to the flowering weeds that are in there...maybe it was the beer, but maybe people just don't notice & I shouldn't sweat not having beautiful begonias, geraniums, and other colorful flowers in there.
The tightrope walking is getting easier these days, but that is sometimes when I get side-swiped. I think some of this is thanks to my manager leaving our team, it's removing a lot of responsibility from me and I'm starting to see the acrobats get a little simpler.
This week I never got to the grocery store for the full list...but I did clean my bathrooms last night. I did get bread & milk, so we are fine. But I realized that the babysitter's friend was over & the bathrooms were less than ideal. I think this is the second time the friend was over with my house as a disaster. The clean bathrooms make me feel accomplished...and I feel like my attitude is as shiny as the sparkling tub I showered in today.
The tightrope walking is getting easier these days, but that is sometimes when I get side-swiped. I think some of this is thanks to my manager leaving our team, it's removing a lot of responsibility from me and I'm starting to see the acrobats get a little simpler.
This week I never got to the grocery store for the full list...but I did clean my bathrooms last night. I did get bread & milk, so we are fine. But I realized that the babysitter's friend was over & the bathrooms were less than ideal. I think this is the second time the friend was over with my house as a disaster. The clean bathrooms make me feel accomplished...and I feel like my attitude is as shiny as the sparkling tub I showered in today.
Monday, June 6, 2011
The score: Dreams 2 vs Me 0
So in a week, I've gotten a lot accomplished: finished the eldest's school and had a picnic with him, his classmates and his twin sibs to celebrate. The weekend was great, got a new & fantstic haricut, attended a minor league baseball game with the family, threw a wedding shower for my sister and ended the weekend with a romantic afternoon date with wonderful husband. We cooked a 4 course French meal with 4 other couples, then enjoyed the feast together. Then, we took the family to the local pool before having a nice dinner with minimal little kid fights. It was a FANTASTIC weekend!
So, this weekend my dreams have been haunting me with the activities I have in line for tightrope walking every day. Friday night I dreamt all about the activity we had for my sister's shower. Last night, I had kept dreaming about the leaking bathroom, noticed by a quarter-sized water puddle in the basement. I suppose that these dreams help me figure out and dress-rehearse what I have to do to get the job accomplished. The problem is that they wake me up. When I return to slumber, I have the same dream and wake up. Repeat...a few times. So I suppose the score is: dreams win.
I ended the great weekend last night putting away lots of laundry and reflecting on how much I accomplished this weekend both personally and from the amount of clean laundry I had finally got around to folding. It was just then that I realized that I didn't go grocery shopping all weekend. Oh well...this is the part of the tightrope walking that you have to let one thing drop off the tightrope balancing pole in order to get to the end of the rope. The babysitter will be fine with some PB&J...gosh, now that I think about it, do we have any bread?
The tightrope feat for this week: grocery shopping, fix leaky shower, 3 consecutive nights of tee ball games, attend a social support group meeting, visit with the ENT, take child to do different 2 therapy sessions, a doctors appointment for myself, root on wonderful husband in his 3 consecutive nights of basketball league playoffs, figure out how to get 5 grandkids in a professional picture for father's day, and we will end the weekend with 7 graduation parties...yes SEVEN Graduation parties. Logistically this last feat will be easy - just simply put: expensive.
Gosh - that task load isn't TOO much...I'm thinking I still have to get going on my garden & flowers for the front yard....I can see those falling from the balance beam for 2011 completely & disappearing out of view, falling to bottom of the circus tent right now...maybe I'll get those on the circus act for 2012!
So, this weekend my dreams have been haunting me with the activities I have in line for tightrope walking every day. Friday night I dreamt all about the activity we had for my sister's shower. Last night, I had kept dreaming about the leaking bathroom, noticed by a quarter-sized water puddle in the basement. I suppose that these dreams help me figure out and dress-rehearse what I have to do to get the job accomplished. The problem is that they wake me up. When I return to slumber, I have the same dream and wake up. Repeat...a few times. So I suppose the score is: dreams win.
I ended the great weekend last night putting away lots of laundry and reflecting on how much I accomplished this weekend both personally and from the amount of clean laundry I had finally got around to folding. It was just then that I realized that I didn't go grocery shopping all weekend. Oh well...this is the part of the tightrope walking that you have to let one thing drop off the tightrope balancing pole in order to get to the end of the rope. The babysitter will be fine with some PB&J...gosh, now that I think about it, do we have any bread?
The tightrope feat for this week: grocery shopping, fix leaky shower, 3 consecutive nights of tee ball games, attend a social support group meeting, visit with the ENT, take child to do different 2 therapy sessions, a doctors appointment for myself, root on wonderful husband in his 3 consecutive nights of basketball league playoffs, figure out how to get 5 grandkids in a professional picture for father's day, and we will end the weekend with 7 graduation parties...yes SEVEN Graduation parties. Logistically this last feat will be easy - just simply put: expensive.
Gosh - that task load isn't TOO much...I'm thinking I still have to get going on my garden & flowers for the front yard....I can see those falling from the balance beam for 2011 completely & disappearing out of view, falling to bottom of the circus tent right now...maybe I'll get those on the circus act for 2012!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Feats accomplished
I did it! By Friday I had the thank you cards done & in the eldest's backpack. It took the initiative to start on Tuesday, and I got it done by end of week - I did it! The fact that the eldest forgot to give them to the teacher...well, that's just Murphy's Law...I had him walking into school with a baggie filled with the cards for today. Hopefully the letters will not come home in his backpack & this task will be done, crossed off the list until the 2011/2012 school holidays {insert happy sigh here}.
The summer pool registration forms need to be filled out this week. The pool opens this coming weekend and we are pretty excited to give it a try. Now that the kids are old enough to walk in a place without running in all directions, I think this will work out nicely. We are even planning a staycation in a few weeks where I think we will spent a few days poolside.
We spent the Memorial weekend camping. This was my first camping experience (and obviously the kids') and it was a fantastic one at that. We camped with my oldest cousin & his wife - two people who bring me absolute joy. They are a fantastic couple and always fun to be around. They came supplied to show us the ropes and treat us to gourmet campfire meals. We spent a great weekend even though the cold and rain came - that didn't stop any of us...we enjoyed the town and the tourist attractions it had to offer. Thank goodness for a flexible bowling alley owner, who opened for our group of tweleve and awarded himself with a house filled with bowlers for the entire afternoon. We visited a local cave - it was beautiful!
This kind of love and quality time with my family, my cousin and his wife, and their super nice friends put me in the place I need to be for this coming week. It's going to be an interesting few weeks coming up with my boss leaving our small work group. This leaves me in a circus tent not very well lit, so I can't exactly see what's direction the tightrope will be going as I step onto it for this new change directed by the ring master.
The summer pool registration forms need to be filled out this week. The pool opens this coming weekend and we are pretty excited to give it a try. Now that the kids are old enough to walk in a place without running in all directions, I think this will work out nicely. We are even planning a staycation in a few weeks where I think we will spent a few days poolside.
We spent the Memorial weekend camping. This was my first camping experience (and obviously the kids') and it was a fantastic one at that. We camped with my oldest cousin & his wife - two people who bring me absolute joy. They are a fantastic couple and always fun to be around. They came supplied to show us the ropes and treat us to gourmet campfire meals. We spent a great weekend even though the cold and rain came - that didn't stop any of us...we enjoyed the town and the tourist attractions it had to offer. Thank goodness for a flexible bowling alley owner, who opened for our group of tweleve and awarded himself with a house filled with bowlers for the entire afternoon. We visited a local cave - it was beautiful!
This kind of love and quality time with my family, my cousin and his wife, and their super nice friends put me in the place I need to be for this coming week. It's going to be an interesting few weeks coming up with my boss leaving our small work group. This leaves me in a circus tent not very well lit, so I can't exactly see what's direction the tightrope will be going as I step onto it for this new change directed by the ring master.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tightrope exercise
Today's acrobatics include exercising! Today I was able to balance exercising. It's something I know I should do at least 3 - 5 times per week but how to fit it in with the other things on my balance beam I just can't envision. But alas, today I was able to fit it in my excercise by walking to the commuter train station. It's a 2 mile walk, that I tallied via mapquest, and takes me about 25 minutes. Today, on this blistery, misty, cold May day, I enjoyed it. I'm hoping to keep it up, at least once a week for the summer. This will allow me to balance some exercise while giving the babysitter the ticket to freedom with the family minivan.
Today's balancing act: work (boss just announced she's leaving...more on that to come), exercise (walking home from the commuter train), completing the thank you notes (yes, from Tuesday...still there on the tightrope balance beam), bath night for the children, start packing for our first family camping trip, and complete the summer pool registration forms.
Today's balancing act: work (boss just announced she's leaving...more on that to come), exercise (walking home from the commuter train), completing the thank you notes (yes, from Tuesday...still there on the tightrope balance beam), bath night for the children, start packing for our first family camping trip, and complete the summer pool registration forms.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
The feat complete? Gifts
So, yesterday I had the feat of trying to get the thank-you gifts for the school staff. I completed that only with the help of my wonderful husband and my great parents. Wonderful husband took all the kids from tee-ball along with my great father, bathed them and put them to bed. This allowed me to run to Target and get the slew of gift cards for the teachers, therapsists and after school care staff. The other stores were canceled for yesterday's performance.
Tightrope feat for this morning, before the pre-school singing program this afternoon: how to get the eldest to sign the thank you cards with only a few hours before school. It takes him about 1 minute to write 5 letters the first time, 2 minutes the second time, 3 minutes for the third signature...you catch my drift. To make the feat that much more challenging...he's not home. He's at the children's museum on this rainy day with the babysitter and the twins.
Solution: I will write the thank you cards myself. This is the part of the working mom that is hard to swallow...you have lots of great ideas but can't exactly excecute the acrobatics.
Tightrope feat for this morning, before the pre-school singing program this afternoon: how to get the eldest to sign the thank you cards with only a few hours before school. It takes him about 1 minute to write 5 letters the first time, 2 minutes the second time, 3 minutes for the third signature...you catch my drift. To make the feat that much more challenging...he's not home. He's at the children's museum on this rainy day with the babysitter and the twins.
Solution: I will write the thank you cards myself. This is the part of the working mom that is hard to swallow...you have lots of great ideas but can't exactly excecute the acrobatics.
Do plants have eyes?
Before thinking of the tightrope feat I will attempt today, I've decided to focus on something fun first...help me keep the day's circus acts in perspective:
My eldest brought home a plant for mothers day, the cute kind in a baby jar all decorated. It's on my kitchen sink windowsill and is growing very nicely. I'm wondering how in the last 12 hours, the longest stem found the tether to my blinds and wrapped itself around. When I went to bed, I did a double take as I shut the window and wondered, is that branch reaching for the pulley? This morning it was confirmed, while I was sleeping, that young branch wound itself around the beaded cord three times. Amazing! How did that plant know that blind's cord, 6 inches away, would be a good fit to loop itself around and grow? Plants must have eyes. Re-think this one all my friends and family who are vegans...maybe plants do have eyes.
My eldest brought home a plant for mothers day, the cute kind in a baby jar all decorated. It's on my kitchen sink windowsill and is growing very nicely. I'm wondering how in the last 12 hours, the longest stem found the tether to my blinds and wrapped itself around. When I went to bed, I did a double take as I shut the window and wondered, is that branch reaching for the pulley? This morning it was confirmed, while I was sleeping, that young branch wound itself around the beaded cord three times. Amazing! How did that plant know that blind's cord, 6 inches away, would be a good fit to loop itself around and grow? Plants must have eyes. Re-think this one all my friends and family who are vegans...maybe plants do have eyes.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Gifts
I have a lot of gifts coming up: teachers and therapists at school for year end thank-yous, the afterschool daycare coordinator, and my sister's shower. How to do this when trying to stay within my monthly credit card budget? It's a question I ponder as I look over my 3 new tee-shirts I purchased this week to replace the old, worn out ones from last year. The bigger question for the balancing act today: how to fit in the shopping trip to these stores, when today seems like the only feasible day to get it all done (packing for camping this week is on the list, but first things first). Today's tightrope feat: tackle today's work, perform the school drop off, attend a doctors appointment, host dinner with parents, and spectate a tee ball game. I WILL fit in the trip to Target, Hallmark and Deals (and maybe Michaels) for these gifts in the day somewhere...just where?
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