Tonight I had one of the most hurtful, in your face things ever happen to me in my whole life.
Prelude: my most down in the dumps place I have ever been was 2 years ago. I caved from the weight of my world that I was holding on my shoulders. It manifested itself in front of my sister with me yelling at my kids. I was trying to get out of the house to yet another therapy session while trying to balance a job on top of it and the kids giving me a hard time was the straw that broke this camel's back...and this souls's spirit. I yelled at them. That is all I did. I yelled and yelled and probably yelled loud.
What came of this? The darkest day of my motherhood career yet? The day that will live in my own personal infamy? Well...the diagnosis of depression and help. Or so I thought.
Well, that may be too harsh...I have gotten support and love but what I have come to know is that not everyone will see things the same as I. There are many people in my life who love me unconditionally. Many who help me in my struggles. Many who support my personal choice in sharing and being open with my personal challenges.
That sister who was witness to my outburst told me in an argument we had over the phone tonight that she has never forgiven me for that very day. Two years she has been silently holding this against me without the decency to tell me. This broke my heart and has sent me reeling into a dark state of mind questioning everything from how the rest of my family treats me to questioning the reality of being adopted and if I truly fit into this family unit.
Our argument stemmed from my mom worried about my kids with fifth disease (a virus only risky to fetuses) being exposed to any of my sisters, sisters in laws, or cousins who are in an active child bearing state for my day's 70th birthday party this weekend. It was a lose/lose situation for me from the get go. My mom didn't want me to get a sitter and not have the kids there...but what do we do about the unknown pregnant people? So I wrote my sisters, sisters in laws, and cousins who will be in attendance. Told them that the kids have it...asked if they wanted me to get a sitter. so i have come to learn from my sister's point of view this was absolutely inappropriate for me to basically ask them this.
She called my mom to bitch about me. This is her normal course of action. I think this is unfair. I think she should tell me directly. I texted her 'how dare you' and i was hurt. so we talked on the phone later in the night and I told her in this heated phone argument to put her big girl pants on and come to me...and that is when she told me she has never forgiven me for that day. The day that was my own problem. The day that didn't really affect her at all. I didn't do anything to her. I was mislead to think her intervening was getting me help. I was operating under my assumption that family is love and family love is unconditional.
My gut knew it. I am her daughter's godmother and since that day she hasn't taken me up to help her unsupervised since that very day. I am even more hurt because I felt I have tried to do so much for her...gave her all my daughter's clothes, probably over a $1000 worth of clothes and toys, gifts and plants, dinners when she had her second, tried to be involved, tried to reach out. I feel used.
Family love is unconditional. But am I really family here since we have no biological link?
I have a few sisters in my life. They are my soul sisters. I know they love me unconditionally for who I am. They hold me up when I need the support and they love me through it. They forgive me for my faults and poor judgements. They love me unconditionally.
I am going to retire this blog with this entry. Women need women. Women need sisters. When your very own sister can't forgive like this...my family needs to be reevaluated purely for my own self preservation.
For my friends who do support me in my journey and who do love me , thank you from the bottom of my heart. I wouldn't be here still without you. I will keep blogging but somewhere else where the ones who cause me this heartache no longer are privy. I will keep you posted. And as you know me...dorky pun intended.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Did you ever have a suspicion that someone is out to get you?
I come into my office, at the most, two times a week. And when I do, my hours are condensed. This is not because I'm not working a full day, but instead because most of my counterparts are in an earlier time zone, where I'm starting my work day early, getting downtown for a meeting in the middle of the day for a in-person meeting, then getting home to finish up my work.
I have a feeling that seeing the assumed liberty I have with my job with some of the people who sit around me is ticking them off. The people I sit around are not on my team, so they don't know what I do. They are younger as well, just starting out their careers. I've also made best buddies with their manager, who I know they look up to on a personal level (what he does to his cube, I then see them do to their cube). Stupid shit like that, that I'm just too old to care about.
Well, what I've noticed this week, after I brought my buddy, their boss, beer back from Wisconsin - and he's bringing me some from his friend...my name plate was removed, and my mail is missing.
Seriously. Isn't this stupid?
But here is the thing...my mail is a regularly distributed newsletter. There are only 2 people in my mail-code, and the other girl's was in our slot. In the 5 years here, we've never had a partial delivery, when the rest of the firm has theirs in their slot.
And last week, my name plate holder...yes, the holder was taken off my wall, with my name plate put on my desk.
Weird? Yes. I have a feeling I've pissed someone off unintentionally and unknowingly. I have a feeling it is the young girl behind me...I said hi this morning, and reflecting back, I don't think she responded.
Does this bother me? Not really at all. It's kind of amusing. And like the awesome quote on my desk "What other people think of you is none of your business."
But the thing is, I hate to put down women, but women, especially younger women are so darned petty. I've been there, I've done petty shit, but seriously?
The bottom line...I guess I'm having a problem pissing people off lately. I did it this weekend with another mom, I'm clearly doing it at work with people I don't even work with.
Now, going back to "What other people think about you is none of your business" - is it my business to try to remedy these things, or do I keep on, keepin' on?
I have a feeling that seeing the assumed liberty I have with my job with some of the people who sit around me is ticking them off. The people I sit around are not on my team, so they don't know what I do. They are younger as well, just starting out their careers. I've also made best buddies with their manager, who I know they look up to on a personal level (what he does to his cube, I then see them do to their cube). Stupid shit like that, that I'm just too old to care about.
Well, what I've noticed this week, after I brought my buddy, their boss, beer back from Wisconsin - and he's bringing me some from his friend...my name plate was removed, and my mail is missing.
Seriously. Isn't this stupid?
But here is the thing...my mail is a regularly distributed newsletter. There are only 2 people in my mail-code, and the other girl's was in our slot. In the 5 years here, we've never had a partial delivery, when the rest of the firm has theirs in their slot.
And last week, my name plate holder...yes, the holder was taken off my wall, with my name plate put on my desk.
Weird? Yes. I have a feeling I've pissed someone off unintentionally and unknowingly. I have a feeling it is the young girl behind me...I said hi this morning, and reflecting back, I don't think she responded.
Does this bother me? Not really at all. It's kind of amusing. And like the awesome quote on my desk "What other people think of you is none of your business."
But the thing is, I hate to put down women, but women, especially younger women are so darned petty. I've been there, I've done petty shit, but seriously?
The bottom line...I guess I'm having a problem pissing people off lately. I did it this weekend with another mom, I'm clearly doing it at work with people I don't even work with.
Now, going back to "What other people think about you is none of your business" - is it my business to try to remedy these things, or do I keep on, keepin' on?
Monday, June 17, 2013
The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker
I've got a pretty sweet deal with my job. I am in the glamorous role of testing software and systems. To be a woman in this profession, adds to the complexity of the mix all by itself.
My daily grind is pretty managable right now. My direct manager is very understanding of my home situation and supports my constant effort in keeping the balance while walking on the tightrope of my life. I'm able to do the job part of my job well and without tears (oh...there have been many tears in this career of mine, let me tell ya!).
What's been the hardest part of the job lately? The people.
I realized, no matter what profession it is, the hardest challenge is always the people.
I told my manager that I don't want to manage. My title is 'Lead' - geesh, I don't even want to lead. I'm busy leading myself, leading a 7 year old, leading twin 5 year olds, and sometimes even a 37 year old husband.
So thinking about other careers, I've decided the hardest part of any profession is the other people you need to deal with. Clients, customers, co-workers, counterparts, children. Did I really just list them all with the letter c? Aw crud.
People management. It's the hardest part of navigating life, isn't it?
My daily grind is pretty managable right now. My direct manager is very understanding of my home situation and supports my constant effort in keeping the balance while walking on the tightrope of my life. I'm able to do the job part of my job well and without tears (oh...there have been many tears in this career of mine, let me tell ya!).
What's been the hardest part of the job lately? The people.
I realized, no matter what profession it is, the hardest challenge is always the people.
I told my manager that I don't want to manage. My title is 'Lead' - geesh, I don't even want to lead. I'm busy leading myself, leading a 7 year old, leading twin 5 year olds, and sometimes even a 37 year old husband.
So thinking about other careers, I've decided the hardest part of any profession is the other people you need to deal with. Clients, customers, co-workers, counterparts, children. Did I really just list them all with the letter c? Aw crud.
People management. It's the hardest part of navigating life, isn't it?
Saturday, February 16, 2013
What a Debbie Downer...everyone has problems, Lady! Thank goodness for friends
Everyone has problems. You hear the saying "Put everyone's problems in a pile and you will gladly take your own back."
I feel like all my 'problems' are self-inflicted. Well...at least for the ones we 'know' about. All those 'other' things we are trying to figure out, I would claim I didn't explicitly sign up for. "Explicitly" in the terms of looking through a park district book and signing up for classes. Or putting my name on the list to help out at the school holiday party. Or choosing to be a working mom.
Everyone has ruts. Sorry to complain about them in the blog. I have a lot of catching up to do with the eldest and updates to provide on things we keep trying to work things out in that arena. I'll get to that update soon enough, but I suppose right now I'm on the tightrope feeling sheer panic of being able to get across with all the things I am balancing.
I think the source of this latest rut is that all these different parts of my life seemed to not be working. Everything at work is on fire. Balancing therapy, gymnastics, and Wonderful Husband's school on Tuesday was a disaster. Disaster. I was starting to dread Tuesdays even more so with my mother in law trying to help. While she was really trying, her help ended up being along the same line of having a cleaning lady. You need the cleaning lady, it will help you, but the work it takes to get ready for the cleaning lady adds it's own layer of stress and work. I signed up for school holiday party to help, but I didn't know I was signing up for organizing the party.
Stop! There it is: "organizing the party." This was the straw that broke this camel's back. What I didn't know is that when you sign up to help with a school party, that means you have to plan, organize, put together, and host the school party. Wait, What?! This wasn't on the flyer that I put my name on in August. Work is shit, my house is a disaster, again no kids have socks in their drawers, and now I have to organize a St. Valentine's party for 40 first graders?! (Er, 'Friendship Party' we are in a public school you know.)
There is a problem here. A major one: I have a first grader, but he is in special education. I really have no clue what a 'typical' first grader would like to do. Panic is setting in. Why? Because I'm going to fail at this.
I realized I was being annoying, unrational, etc. I realize I was being a Debbie Downer when I told my first-grade-mom friend how I didn't realize it was our job as parents to plan the party. She looked at me as if I didn't know that eggs were the first ingredient in scrambled eggs. I realized: "Duh self!" But to my defense, this is my first kid in grade school and I found out from other first time grade-school moms, they didn't realize this either. Phew, I'm not the only one who felt like they were going to fail.
This is why we need friends, they help us to not panic. They secure us to realize we aren't failures. We need fellow comrades to validate that we aren't the only ones who are having a hard time. We need them to tell us they are scared too. We need them to ensure us that rules or expectations are silly, and if we stick together, we will back each other up and always be there for each other.
Friends, thank God for them. College friends who write you or ping you to say they love you and make sure you are okay. Moms of twins or triplets, like you, who will meet out after the kids are in bed so we can ensure we are all feeling crazed, overwhelmed, and out-numbered so we can laugh about it together. Neighbors who will always lend an ear, have the kids play to get them off our back, and give you a big smile or hug. Work colleagues who will not compete with you and share that everything is going to hell, their projects are on fire too. The oldest friends you made even back in kindergarten that will always be running through your heart and you can pick up where you left off years ago. And family, the oldest and most forever friends you will ever have (even if they are relatively new into the family).
I was missing my friends. Life was getting too busy for what was important: Friends. I wasn't seeing, talking, emailing, IM'ing, texting, or calling my friends. By the end of this week I realized it and even with a few pings, emails, calls, texts, and correctly guessing (but incorrectly spelling) some pictures over the iPad, this was the life line I needed. Friends give me the shot in the arm I need to know I am not alone. Friends will have my back and tell me it's okay if I am the worst first-grade-mom-party-thrower in the world.
Thank God for Friends.
I feel like all my 'problems' are self-inflicted. Well...at least for the ones we 'know' about. All those 'other' things we are trying to figure out, I would claim I didn't explicitly sign up for. "Explicitly" in the terms of looking through a park district book and signing up for classes. Or putting my name on the list to help out at the school holiday party. Or choosing to be a working mom.
Everyone has ruts. Sorry to complain about them in the blog. I have a lot of catching up to do with the eldest and updates to provide on things we keep trying to work things out in that arena. I'll get to that update soon enough, but I suppose right now I'm on the tightrope feeling sheer panic of being able to get across with all the things I am balancing.
I think the source of this latest rut is that all these different parts of my life seemed to not be working. Everything at work is on fire. Balancing therapy, gymnastics, and Wonderful Husband's school on Tuesday was a disaster. Disaster. I was starting to dread Tuesdays even more so with my mother in law trying to help. While she was really trying, her help ended up being along the same line of having a cleaning lady. You need the cleaning lady, it will help you, but the work it takes to get ready for the cleaning lady adds it's own layer of stress and work. I signed up for school holiday party to help, but I didn't know I was signing up for organizing the party.
Stop! There it is: "organizing the party." This was the straw that broke this camel's back. What I didn't know is that when you sign up to help with a school party, that means you have to plan, organize, put together, and host the school party. Wait, What?! This wasn't on the flyer that I put my name on in August. Work is shit, my house is a disaster, again no kids have socks in their drawers, and now I have to organize a St. Valentine's party for 40 first graders?! (Er, 'Friendship Party' we are in a public school you know.)
There is a problem here. A major one: I have a first grader, but he is in special education. I really have no clue what a 'typical' first grader would like to do. Panic is setting in. Why? Because I'm going to fail at this.
I realized I was being annoying, unrational, etc. I realize I was being a Debbie Downer when I told my first-grade-mom friend how I didn't realize it was our job as parents to plan the party. She looked at me as if I didn't know that eggs were the first ingredient in scrambled eggs. I realized: "Duh self!" But to my defense, this is my first kid in grade school and I found out from other first time grade-school moms, they didn't realize this either. Phew, I'm not the only one who felt like they were going to fail.
This is why we need friends, they help us to not panic. They secure us to realize we aren't failures. We need fellow comrades to validate that we aren't the only ones who are having a hard time. We need them to tell us they are scared too. We need them to ensure us that rules or expectations are silly, and if we stick together, we will back each other up and always be there for each other.
Friends, thank God for them. College friends who write you or ping you to say they love you and make sure you are okay. Moms of twins or triplets, like you, who will meet out after the kids are in bed so we can ensure we are all feeling crazed, overwhelmed, and out-numbered so we can laugh about it together. Neighbors who will always lend an ear, have the kids play to get them off our back, and give you a big smile or hug. Work colleagues who will not compete with you and share that everything is going to hell, their projects are on fire too. The oldest friends you made even back in kindergarten that will always be running through your heart and you can pick up where you left off years ago. And family, the oldest and most forever friends you will ever have (even if they are relatively new into the family).
I was missing my friends. Life was getting too busy for what was important: Friends. I wasn't seeing, talking, emailing, IM'ing, texting, or calling my friends. By the end of this week I realized it and even with a few pings, emails, calls, texts, and correctly guessing (but incorrectly spelling) some pictures over the iPad, this was the life line I needed. Friends give me the shot in the arm I need to know I am not alone. Friends will have my back and tell me it's okay if I am the worst first-grade-mom-party-thrower in the world.
Thank God for Friends.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
The grey cloud and a bottle of wine
I walked around yesterday and today with a grey cloud above my head. Picture a comic strip. That is exactly how I felt. The cloud just wouldn't go away.
This cloud was hovering over me with work. With my personal business. With my kids. With my chores. With my marriage. No matter where I went, it followed me. I think this is depression. I truly wonder if this is how others feel when they are "in the pits" or if this is clinical depression. Comment...please...I'm truly curious.
Today I went with the twins to gymnastics and I just felt like 'geesh, I am in a rut.' All I could focus on was this rut. I was walking in the cold, I felt this rut. I was listening to the kids talk, I felt this rut. I was watching them do well in gymnastics, I felt this rut. I couldn't talk myself out of this rut. I tried to feel 'present' but it didn't work. I felt exaclty like the commercial for those anti-depressant drugs where the person just can't enjoy life or the things around them. Good thing I was an actress at one point in my life: Fake it until you make it. That attitude it works in more ways than one (with sex...and I guess, with life).
Right now as I'm blogging (which I've been too overwhelmed to update as of lately), I'm enjoying a glass of wine while I work. It is 10:30 pm and I'm working. Maybe this is the source of my "rut"? Work? Hmm...maybe, but I can't dwell on this, because it is my choice to work. Right?
Yesterday I got a call out of the blue from my soul sister cousin...the one I ran the accidental triathlon with. Premonitions? Feelings? A sixth sense? She said she thought about me & felt like she needed to call. Clearly she was on to something...I needed that call. Outreach. You hear this term with not-for-profits and social work, right? Sometimes you don't know you need it, until someone reaches out because they know you need it. I do believe in God, and I like to believe in guardian angels. Who knows what had her call me in the middle of the day, but she did and it helped. Though...today I'm still in the rut.
Why am I blogging? Well because the wine. Yep...and I'm working late, so I have some time on my hands since I am in the 'testing business' (where I run something on the computer & have to wait to see how it went). So I'm waiting...to see 'how it went.'
I put it in writing last year that one of my resolutions was to stop drinking. I failed. I tried painting to see how it would feel to do something I'm not confident I'll succeed in...but I like painting & I think I'm pretty good at it. I'm even brave enough to post my in-progress painting on Facebook. I guess I could say I'm good at failing at resolutions, and I'm perfectly okay with that.
My counselor said my drinking is a concern because I use it as a source of release. Heck yea! I need a waiver from my life. A sabbatical. Drinking helps me with that. See...I'm enjoying working & I'm getting back to blogging. Why can having wine be bad?
Well...because I need it to get out of a rut...and wine isn't the answer. I'm smart enough to know this. Now, how do I get out of this rut?
This cloud was hovering over me with work. With my personal business. With my kids. With my chores. With my marriage. No matter where I went, it followed me. I think this is depression. I truly wonder if this is how others feel when they are "in the pits" or if this is clinical depression. Comment...please...I'm truly curious.
Today I went with the twins to gymnastics and I just felt like 'geesh, I am in a rut.' All I could focus on was this rut. I was walking in the cold, I felt this rut. I was listening to the kids talk, I felt this rut. I was watching them do well in gymnastics, I felt this rut. I couldn't talk myself out of this rut. I tried to feel 'present' but it didn't work. I felt exaclty like the commercial for those anti-depressant drugs where the person just can't enjoy life or the things around them. Good thing I was an actress at one point in my life: Fake it until you make it. That attitude it works in more ways than one (with sex...and I guess, with life).
Right now as I'm blogging (which I've been too overwhelmed to update as of lately), I'm enjoying a glass of wine while I work. It is 10:30 pm and I'm working. Maybe this is the source of my "rut"? Work? Hmm...maybe, but I can't dwell on this, because it is my choice to work. Right?
Yesterday I got a call out of the blue from my soul sister cousin...the one I ran the accidental triathlon with. Premonitions? Feelings? A sixth sense? She said she thought about me & felt like she needed to call. Clearly she was on to something...I needed that call. Outreach. You hear this term with not-for-profits and social work, right? Sometimes you don't know you need it, until someone reaches out because they know you need it. I do believe in God, and I like to believe in guardian angels. Who knows what had her call me in the middle of the day, but she did and it helped. Though...today I'm still in the rut.
Why am I blogging? Well because the wine. Yep...and I'm working late, so I have some time on my hands since I am in the 'testing business' (where I run something on the computer & have to wait to see how it went). So I'm waiting...to see 'how it went.'
I put it in writing last year that one of my resolutions was to stop drinking. I failed. I tried painting to see how it would feel to do something I'm not confident I'll succeed in...but I like painting & I think I'm pretty good at it. I'm even brave enough to post my in-progress painting on Facebook. I guess I could say I'm good at failing at resolutions, and I'm perfectly okay with that.
My counselor said my drinking is a concern because I use it as a source of release. Heck yea! I need a waiver from my life. A sabbatical. Drinking helps me with that. See...I'm enjoying working & I'm getting back to blogging. Why can having wine be bad?
Well...because I need it to get out of a rut...and wine isn't the answer. I'm smart enough to know this. Now, how do I get out of this rut?
Monday, February 4, 2013
I owe $3,822.59
I owe $3,822.59. Not that bad when the amount that was billed was $65,979.40.
$65,979.40 was the total amount billed against our medical insurance for 2012. This was not bad at all; there were no major surgeries where some years we have a few. Those years we have racked up $100,000 or more. Yes...$100,000 or MORE.
$3,822 is about par for what we owe annually. Kind of shocking that I look at this number & think 'good' instead of panicking or being angry.
My daily anxiety is stemmed from trying to keep up with life. I think that the medical work that we do on top of the daily work is something I don't give myself credit for.
Last year, here is the breakdown of Insurance Claims for 2012:
Wonderful Husband = 1
Twin Son = 2
Twin Daughter = 4
Me = 40
Eldest Son = 95
*Therapies are billed in multiple sessions - usually 2 - 4 sessions on one bill. This is Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Speech Therapy, & Counseling. So...the amount billed is way less than the amount of days we've spent in therapy or in a doctor's office.
Thank goodness we have our health. I can only imagine the amount of stress that I would have to deal with if the rest of my household had services we needed to content with regularly.
I need to pat myself on the back here. Medical stuff we deal with is a lot more added to the daily grind.
Unlike other people who complain about insurance (and most are justified in their complaints as their insurance covers squat)...I am so thankful for our insurance. It is really great.
Just like I'm thankful for my current job situation, I'm extremely thankful for our current insurance situation. I am aware that both may change in the future, so instead of worrying the uncontrollable future, I'm focusing my energy on appreciating what we have right now.
Off to the Doctor's Office with the Eldest today. It was something that came up this morning and now I have to fit into my schedule. It never stops...but at least for this year (or right now...knock on wood), we are covered.
$65,979.40 was the total amount billed against our medical insurance for 2012. This was not bad at all; there were no major surgeries where some years we have a few. Those years we have racked up $100,000 or more. Yes...$100,000 or MORE.
$3,822 is about par for what we owe annually. Kind of shocking that I look at this number & think 'good' instead of panicking or being angry.
My daily anxiety is stemmed from trying to keep up with life. I think that the medical work that we do on top of the daily work is something I don't give myself credit for.
Last year, here is the breakdown of Insurance Claims for 2012:
Wonderful Husband = 1
Twin Son = 2
Twin Daughter = 4
Me = 40
Eldest Son = 95
*Therapies are billed in multiple sessions - usually 2 - 4 sessions on one bill. This is Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Speech Therapy, & Counseling. So...the amount billed is way less than the amount of days we've spent in therapy or in a doctor's office.
Thank goodness we have our health. I can only imagine the amount of stress that I would have to deal with if the rest of my household had services we needed to content with regularly.
I need to pat myself on the back here. Medical stuff we deal with is a lot more added to the daily grind.
Unlike other people who complain about insurance (and most are justified in their complaints as their insurance covers squat)...I am so thankful for our insurance. It is really great.
Just like I'm thankful for my current job situation, I'm extremely thankful for our current insurance situation. I am aware that both may change in the future, so instead of worrying the uncontrollable future, I'm focusing my energy on appreciating what we have right now.
Off to the Doctor's Office with the Eldest today. It was something that came up this morning and now I have to fit into my schedule. It never stops...but at least for this year (or right now...knock on wood), we are covered.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
A punishment with a sweet reward
One of my 2012 resolutions was to to stop drinking. I haven't. I like it too much, I will confess. There is something about relaxing with a good brew, letting it just change your chemistry a bit to a happy-go-lucky feeling, kind of letting loose a bit.
The past few weeks have been busy with fun stuff on the weekends, but a lot of business at work. This combination has me a bit stressed. I feel like I'm spinning a lot of plates & they are sure wobbly, ready to drop off those spindles.
So, last night, with my darling daughter out with my parents for the one-on-one grandparent night, Wonderful Husband and I decided to treat ourselves to dinner out at the local pub.
Did anyone catch that? Yes, we ate dinner at the local pub...with our two other kids. They serve food, have a menu, but the place is really more bar than it is restaurant. We had a nice time. The boys pretended to play the golf & bowling game, while we relaxed with a good brew until dinner arrived.
By the time I got home, I was warmed up with 2 brews...and felt like relaxing a bit more. I had more work to do all through the night (yes...all through the night)....so had that one more drink.
Getting a little silly tipsy stupid is fun...but not when you are a parent. Karma strikes again. Karma said...you suck at resolutions. Remember the one from last year?
What happened? Darling Daughter woke up at 1:30 puking. Oh boy. This stinks to deal with when you have had a few drinks. This is karma reminding me that my first and main job is parenting...this is not the time for self-indulgence.
With this unplanned early morning wake up call, and dealing with a puking kid while having a hang-over...there are a few hidden rewards:
1) I got to finish up my work that I was doing through the night.
2) I got to cuddle on the couch with Darling Daughter last night
3) I get to hang at home today with her. While I work, she can play on the computer, iPad, and watch TV.
It's nice to have her company, even if I'm playing that dual role of working mom. The time today isn't by any means 'quality', but it is still a little perk resonating from last night's surprise attack.
The past few weeks have been busy with fun stuff on the weekends, but a lot of business at work. This combination has me a bit stressed. I feel like I'm spinning a lot of plates & they are sure wobbly, ready to drop off those spindles.
So, last night, with my darling daughter out with my parents for the one-on-one grandparent night, Wonderful Husband and I decided to treat ourselves to dinner out at the local pub.
Did anyone catch that? Yes, we ate dinner at the local pub...with our two other kids. They serve food, have a menu, but the place is really more bar than it is restaurant. We had a nice time. The boys pretended to play the golf & bowling game, while we relaxed with a good brew until dinner arrived.
By the time I got home, I was warmed up with 2 brews...and felt like relaxing a bit more. I had more work to do all through the night (yes...all through the night)....so had that one more drink.
Getting a little silly tipsy stupid is fun...but not when you are a parent. Karma strikes again. Karma said...you suck at resolutions. Remember the one from last year?
What happened? Darling Daughter woke up at 1:30 puking. Oh boy. This stinks to deal with when you have had a few drinks. This is karma reminding me that my first and main job is parenting...this is not the time for self-indulgence.
With this unplanned early morning wake up call, and dealing with a puking kid while having a hang-over...there are a few hidden rewards:
1) I got to finish up my work that I was doing through the night.
2) I got to cuddle on the couch with Darling Daughter last night
3) I get to hang at home today with her. While I work, she can play on the computer, iPad, and watch TV.
It's nice to have her company, even if I'm playing that dual role of working mom. The time today isn't by any means 'quality', but it is still a little perk resonating from last night's surprise attack.
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