Toddlers fall down the stairs...I am sure that almost every human on earth has fallen down the stairs at least once in their lifetime.
Falling down the stairs is scary. My eldest, now 7 years old, is still falling down the stairs...and it is horrifying to watch. He did it again today. There are only 3 steps, cement steps, out our backdoor. I let go of his hand to go back in the house to get something, and he fell, like a toddler...where their head seems too heavy for them to hold.
I felt terrible. He was so sad. He just wanted me to carry him. I don't blame him.
It is at low points like this when the light bulb appears above your head. Or maybe my guardian angel whispered in my ear...
We can try to help him by installing a railing!
Yes! A railing. Though it is only 3 steps, there is really nothing to hold on to walking down. A railing would be perfect.
So, I called my dear brother in law this morning, who just so happens to be a carpenter. He is going to come & check it out, and build us a railing.
Maybe this will help. I sure hope so. As toddlers we fall, but we all forget those early learning years. We can all remember being 7...so I have to assume falling at 7 years old, is just as scary as falling at 37 years old.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Monday, October 22, 2012
Cheesecake
I have been looking at, moving, re-sorting, tucking into a pile with other papers, this one article from Real Simple on the world's best cheesecake. Okay, get real self! Do you really think you are going to make this?
After a few months of this article cluttering up my kitchen counter, I threw it out. If I'm going to make a cheesecake, I have plenty of sources for a recipe.
Finally letting go of that one thing that has been nagging at me every day in my kitchen, has me pondering...and I came to a self-realization.
I am inundated with clutter. Paperwork all over. Things that need to be filed. Things that need to be read. Things that need...oh, forget it.
At work I'm very organized. There are a few rules I live by to stay organized, one of them is this method I read about that goes something like this:
Never touch a piece of paper more than once. When you get it, address it, file it, throw it away, send it on...etc...don't put it in this 'gotta get back to this' pile...it will just keep boomeranging back.
I follow this method fine at work...but not at home.
Both my sisters and my cousin have this incredible knack for not having their house cluttered with things. Like Peter Walsh says...any horizontal space (counters, shelves, including floors) shouldn't be a holding place for things. These three ladies have an incredible talent for not having shit all over their house. I do not. There is crap all over every horizontal space in my house...toys, things to be filed, pictures to be put away, toys to be put away...I can go on and on.
So, a few months ago I said I'd live with only what I need. I don't think I need all this crap. But the question is...how do I let go of it? Most of my crap is paperwork. Other people keep 'things' that they may need in the future. I don't have a problem with that...I have a problem with paperwork.
This is something I'm going to tackle this year for my 37th birthday...training myself to let go of paperwork. Get rid of it...stop having it pile up...stop having it nagging me to get back to it....get it out of my house.
I can picture my house at risk like a forest...when there is too much underbrush, it is at high risk for a huge fire. That is what my house is like with paperwork...it is all over everywhere...high risk for an emergency out of control fiasco.
I will reward myself...once I get the paperwork cleared out & a system I can follow at home...I will treat myself. Yes, to cheesecake. Though, I don't think I will make it...I will buy it...and a good one too!
After a few months of this article cluttering up my kitchen counter, I threw it out. If I'm going to make a cheesecake, I have plenty of sources for a recipe.
Finally letting go of that one thing that has been nagging at me every day in my kitchen, has me pondering...and I came to a self-realization.
I am inundated with clutter. Paperwork all over. Things that need to be filed. Things that need to be read. Things that need...oh, forget it.
At work I'm very organized. There are a few rules I live by to stay organized, one of them is this method I read about that goes something like this:
Never touch a piece of paper more than once. When you get it, address it, file it, throw it away, send it on...etc...don't put it in this 'gotta get back to this' pile...it will just keep boomeranging back.
I follow this method fine at work...but not at home.
Both my sisters and my cousin have this incredible knack for not having their house cluttered with things. Like Peter Walsh says...any horizontal space (counters, shelves, including floors) shouldn't be a holding place for things. These three ladies have an incredible talent for not having shit all over their house. I do not. There is crap all over every horizontal space in my house...toys, things to be filed, pictures to be put away, toys to be put away...I can go on and on.
So, a few months ago I said I'd live with only what I need. I don't think I need all this crap. But the question is...how do I let go of it? Most of my crap is paperwork. Other people keep 'things' that they may need in the future. I don't have a problem with that...I have a problem with paperwork.
This is something I'm going to tackle this year for my 37th birthday...training myself to let go of paperwork. Get rid of it...stop having it pile up...stop having it nagging me to get back to it....get it out of my house.
I can picture my house at risk like a forest...when there is too much underbrush, it is at high risk for a huge fire. That is what my house is like with paperwork...it is all over everywhere...high risk for an emergency out of control fiasco.
I will reward myself...once I get the paperwork cleared out & a system I can follow at home...I will treat myself. Yes, to cheesecake. Though, I don't think I will make it...I will buy it...and a good one too!
Friday, October 19, 2012
The Developmental Pediatrician
Today was the day we were met with the developmental pediatrician. I liked her, I liked her resident and I liked the facility. But what did we get from the meeting today? An affirmation that what we are doing is right; we pretty much have everything covered.
Seeing the array of specialists, the therapies, and the school support; we have it exactly right & the only thing they have to add is social fun, like: gymnastics (tried it), karate (tried it), swimming (on our radar), or pet therapy like horseback riding (looking into it). Soccer and baseball we gave a good try at too, but again...not really his thing. Cooking would have been good, but there wasn't enough people registered...we will try that one again too.
What we can use this developmental pediatrician for is a resource for anytime in the future we aren't sure what to do or where to go for help or guidance for school or ADHD, etc..
They agree with keeping all these specialists at one children's hospital, they gave advice on how to get a new neurologist there and prompted us to get moving on that, since we kicked the old one to the curb.
The thing this doctor did say which I haven't heard yet before was this:
That the good thing is he is hard to figure out; it is the bad cases that are easy to figure out, whether it be a clear cognitive delay, a syndrome that is more common than others, or even less common but severe. The fact that he has a lot going for him and he is making progress, makes it hard to figure out what is the cause, but that is a good thing, it is not a bad thing.
I think I'll agree with her.
We left there without any pokes or prods, and a very happy kid. Per the eldest's request, we ate lunch at the train station restaurant where we sat at the bar and a toy Lionel train deliver our food. Now I'm off to start work for the remainder of the day and he is at Chuck E Cheese with his Wonderful Dad. Then they will pick up his siblings and we can all start our weekend.
Thank Goodness Its Friday!
Seeing the array of specialists, the therapies, and the school support; we have it exactly right & the only thing they have to add is social fun, like: gymnastics (tried it), karate (tried it), swimming (on our radar), or pet therapy like horseback riding (looking into it). Soccer and baseball we gave a good try at too, but again...not really his thing. Cooking would have been good, but there wasn't enough people registered...we will try that one again too.
What we can use this developmental pediatrician for is a resource for anytime in the future we aren't sure what to do or where to go for help or guidance for school or ADHD, etc..
They agree with keeping all these specialists at one children's hospital, they gave advice on how to get a new neurologist there and prompted us to get moving on that, since we kicked the old one to the curb.
The thing this doctor did say which I haven't heard yet before was this:
That the good thing is he is hard to figure out; it is the bad cases that are easy to figure out, whether it be a clear cognitive delay, a syndrome that is more common than others, or even less common but severe. The fact that he has a lot going for him and he is making progress, makes it hard to figure out what is the cause, but that is a good thing, it is not a bad thing.
I think I'll agree with her.
We left there without any pokes or prods, and a very happy kid. Per the eldest's request, we ate lunch at the train station restaurant where we sat at the bar and a toy Lionel train deliver our food. Now I'm off to start work for the remainder of the day and he is at Chuck E Cheese with his Wonderful Dad. Then they will pick up his siblings and we can all start our weekend.
Thank Goodness Its Friday!
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
The promise of a picture we have never seen
When dealing with 'something,' that all these specialists 'can't put their finger on,' we have been living with the hope that one day we will be put in front of someone who has seen something just like what we are dealing with daily. We have heard success stories of someone having something similar, and being able to say 'hey - this is the same thing!' This is why we are never stopping putting ourselves in front of different doctors and specialists.
Starting this quest, I would have never thought, or believed, that every syndrome wouldn't be easy to identify, but it is not. The more common syndromes (if you can even say 'common') have all these markers and characteristics...they have trends and established routines. Some that we know publicly have huge sections in the library to help support people, parents, caregivers, teachers, etc. We aren't there...at least not yet.
The appointment with Dr. Wonderful Dentist's yesterday did not go bad. I hardly even had to be Mrs. Assertive Advocate. He came in the room and said 'I saw a picture at a Dallas conference that looked exactly like your son's mouth. It was the same picture. I couldn't believe it!' How old was this other patient? '5 years old. The good news, they have figured out how to treat it with this boy to prevent or slow the losing of his teeth.'
What does this mean for us? Referral to another specialist. How? Dr. Wonderful Dentist will be calling him this week, and will follow up with me by Thursday. If I don't hear from him by Thursday, call his secretary.
Okay - we have heard that one before, and I will call on Thursday, or Friday. But Dr. Wonderful Dentist is doing what we needed him to do...he is well connected and has lots of exposure to different dentists and patients. This is what would possibly lead to a find of what is going on (at least for the teeth).
So...on to the next guy...eventually :)
Starting this quest, I would have never thought, or believed, that every syndrome wouldn't be easy to identify, but it is not. The more common syndromes (if you can even say 'common') have all these markers and characteristics...they have trends and established routines. Some that we know publicly have huge sections in the library to help support people, parents, caregivers, teachers, etc. We aren't there...at least not yet.
The appointment with Dr. Wonderful Dentist's yesterday did not go bad. I hardly even had to be Mrs. Assertive Advocate. He came in the room and said 'I saw a picture at a Dallas conference that looked exactly like your son's mouth. It was the same picture. I couldn't believe it!' How old was this other patient? '5 years old. The good news, they have figured out how to treat it with this boy to prevent or slow the losing of his teeth.'
What does this mean for us? Referral to another specialist. How? Dr. Wonderful Dentist will be calling him this week, and will follow up with me by Thursday. If I don't hear from him by Thursday, call his secretary.
Okay - we have heard that one before, and I will call on Thursday, or Friday. But Dr. Wonderful Dentist is doing what we needed him to do...he is well connected and has lots of exposure to different dentists and patients. This is what would possibly lead to a find of what is going on (at least for the teeth).
So...on to the next guy...eventually :)
Monday, October 15, 2012
Today: 2 doctor's appointments: Dentist...well being...and my power is out
Have I told you how lucky I am?
I know, I've told you a lot. Well, today is a lucky day and I'm not stating that with any bit of sarcasm. It was 7:35am and I was brushing darling daughter's hair and BAM! A huge thunderbolt sound came from outside and all our power went out
How is it lucky to lose all my electricity? I'm off work today. Told you I'm lucky. On a normal Monday, this would have been devastating since I work from home. Not today, we have an 11:00 appointment with our pediatrician for a well being visit for my eldest, then we are heading downtown to see Dr. Wonderful Dentist for his 3 month check-in.
Today was supposed to be the meeting with the developmental pediatrician, but it was rescheduled to Friday. So I made the most of the day and got the appointment with the standard pediatrician, just in time for the flu season, his birthday/wellness visit, and an update on his ADHD prescription. Lucky, I am for sure!
The appointment with Dr. Wonderful Dentist should be a good one. Good one for unleashing the power of Meg: the Mom Advocate Superior. Dr. Dentist has still failed to write the letter regarding the genetically linked syndromes that he wants the Genius Geneticist to look at for our appointment in March. Along with that, Dr. Wonderful Dentist has never called our pediatrician, nor the endocrinologist, as he stated he would when we met with him this summer. You'd better believe I will be 'recapping' our appointments and his unkept promises, all nicely recorded in my notepad.
Today I will throw down my terms. He said at our last appointment, after standing us up all summer 'You are too nice.' Little does he know. Today I will directly call him out if he gets interrupted from our meeting with other office business as he did to us during our last visit. I will also demand we put together a plan for the eldest's teeth. Period. We need to find out what we are doing about his missing 7 missing teeth, and his 2 loose ones. The kid is starting to pop out 2 new bottom teeth, but those were initially lost 5 years ago...we can't wait for 5+ years for these others to come in, while the rest fall out.
In addition to making him address his teeth, I'm going to make him sit down & write the letter to the geneticist...while we wait. Wonderful Husband and I both have off work this afternoon for the appointment so we have nothing but time on our side.
I will partner with Dr. Wonderful Dentist, as I try to do with all these special need resources, however, I have a limit...and if we are still nowhere with Dr. Wonderful Dentist through March when we meet with the head of Genetics at Children's Memorial, Dr. Wonderful Dentist will be kicked to the curb like our former neurologist.
Putting my own limit on things is what makes advocating possible. An adoptive mom told me this when I was young and married without kids, and just about to embark on my quest to solve my infertility with assistive reproductive technology. This mom's advice was to put a time limit on it all, something I feel comfortable with, because otherwise the doctors will want to keep try and keep trying things indefinitely. I've lived by this advice every since...we will try things for x amount of time...if it doesn't work, then we change it.
Today is going to be a good day...even with the power out.
UPDATE...I started writing this blog after I got home from a nice breakfast out at Panera since I had not yet brewed my coffee. And guess what? The power is back on. Just in time for me to publish this post, shower and get ready for appointment #1.
Lucky, I am!
I know, I've told you a lot. Well, today is a lucky day and I'm not stating that with any bit of sarcasm. It was 7:35am and I was brushing darling daughter's hair and BAM! A huge thunderbolt sound came from outside and all our power went out
How is it lucky to lose all my electricity? I'm off work today. Told you I'm lucky. On a normal Monday, this would have been devastating since I work from home. Not today, we have an 11:00 appointment with our pediatrician for a well being visit for my eldest, then we are heading downtown to see Dr. Wonderful Dentist for his 3 month check-in.
Today was supposed to be the meeting with the developmental pediatrician, but it was rescheduled to Friday. So I made the most of the day and got the appointment with the standard pediatrician, just in time for the flu season, his birthday/wellness visit, and an update on his ADHD prescription. Lucky, I am for sure!
The appointment with Dr. Wonderful Dentist should be a good one. Good one for unleashing the power of Meg: the Mom Advocate Superior. Dr. Dentist has still failed to write the letter regarding the genetically linked syndromes that he wants the Genius Geneticist to look at for our appointment in March. Along with that, Dr. Wonderful Dentist has never called our pediatrician, nor the endocrinologist, as he stated he would when we met with him this summer. You'd better believe I will be 'recapping' our appointments and his unkept promises, all nicely recorded in my notepad.
Today I will throw down my terms. He said at our last appointment, after standing us up all summer 'You are too nice.' Little does he know. Today I will directly call him out if he gets interrupted from our meeting with other office business as he did to us during our last visit. I will also demand we put together a plan for the eldest's teeth. Period. We need to find out what we are doing about his missing 7 missing teeth, and his 2 loose ones. The kid is starting to pop out 2 new bottom teeth, but those were initially lost 5 years ago...we can't wait for 5+ years for these others to come in, while the rest fall out.
In addition to making him address his teeth, I'm going to make him sit down & write the letter to the geneticist...while we wait. Wonderful Husband and I both have off work this afternoon for the appointment so we have nothing but time on our side.
I will partner with Dr. Wonderful Dentist, as I try to do with all these special need resources, however, I have a limit...and if we are still nowhere with Dr. Wonderful Dentist through March when we meet with the head of Genetics at Children's Memorial, Dr. Wonderful Dentist will be kicked to the curb like our former neurologist.
Putting my own limit on things is what makes advocating possible. An adoptive mom told me this when I was young and married without kids, and just about to embark on my quest to solve my infertility with assistive reproductive technology. This mom's advice was to put a time limit on it all, something I feel comfortable with, because otherwise the doctors will want to keep try and keep trying things indefinitely. I've lived by this advice every since...we will try things for x amount of time...if it doesn't work, then we change it.
Today is going to be a good day...even with the power out.
UPDATE...I started writing this blog after I got home from a nice breakfast out at Panera since I had not yet brewed my coffee. And guess what? The power is back on. Just in time for me to publish this post, shower and get ready for appointment #1.
Lucky, I am!
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Selling my private jet
During college I used to dream and laugh with my two best friends, about one day we would be 'the head honcho' and be so successful we would be able to take our very own private jets to visit each other for lunch. The three of us live in Chicago, Peoria, and St. Louis, so getting together without a jet is clearly impossible.
I left my last job because I was 'a boss.' There is a lot of reward in being a manager with training people and seeing them grow, having a lot of accountability and coming from that: direct success for a group's effort, and just making things happen with a team behind you. But with that glory, there is a lot of work. With a lot of work, life can get off balance...especially when you are the mom.
There were things in my last job I really loved...the people, the clients, the success in fixing something. I had a group of 10 people, and I enjoyed them and I know they liked working with me. Our group had the lowest attrition rate. When I went on maternity leave with my twins, they hung signs that said "WWMD"...What Would Meg Do. Thinking of that still makes me feel really good inside, knowing I did my job well for those folks.
As soon as I returned from maternity leave, with my managers and directors being able to see first had with my absence about what good work I did...I left. Why? Well...because my balance was off. I was responsible for too much at home and at work for just one of me.
Just as all history, my work life seems to repeat itself.
To balance on this tightrope of life, I really have to be confident in not pursuing work glory, but speaking up about what I want to do, not necessarily what I can do. I don't think a lot of people understand this, but what motivates me right now with work is being able to do the job and go home.
The last two months my life on the tightrope has looked like this:
Me in sweats (can't seem to get my act together to be dressed every morning), inching across the super high tightrope with this huge woman from work on my back...and all her baggage.
Yep - that is what has been throwing me off. Her. It is all her. I've been her 'mentor' and that means...lots and lots of work. The beginning of the year, she was on a 'performance improvement plan' - which means, you have 90 days to turn your work around otherwise you get a pink slip. With the manager change, the new guy took her off this...though now he realizes, he shouldn't have.
She is the reason I haven't submitted a post to my blog in a month. She is the reason my bills are piled high. She is the reason I'm behind at work, which makes me behind at life, which makes me work late at night, which makes me...well, just behind.
Okay - I can't put all the blame on her. I could get to my bills, my laundry, my extra work...but what would suffer? My life. My house. My husband. My kids. So I'm letting her take a little too much of me, so what IS left, can be passed along to what else is required: my family.
Last week I had a factual conversation with my manager about all of this and my timing couldn't be more terrible. Right now, is performance review time, which leads to bonuses, promotions, etc., etc.. I had to basically tell him that I don't want to manage people. I can't be responsible for others like I have been with this woman, it is making my work-life balance off-kilter. What I appreciate is being able to work, but if work affects life, life will start to affect work. He got it. I told him I'd throw up the flares when it gets to be too much, but I will do the job that is asked of me. I had to be brave and truthful to myself in what I want...just a job. Right now, I don't want a high powered career...but at the same time, I don't want to limit myself. It stinks when you realized you can't have it all...but 'all' is self-defined, so I'm picking 'just the job' because in my life, I do feel like I have it 'all.'
For the immediate term, after 2 months of having this woman on my back while I'm inching across the tightrope, I'm finally making her inch across on her own. She's not doing very well...I'm holding the net inches below rope, she has a harness on, and the rope is 10 inches wide and only 2 inches off the ground...with all that help she still can't seem to get across it. Right now it is all about self-sustenance.
At this point...I've done all I can and now can get back to my life without a jet...all I want is my minivan and that satisfies me and makes me very happy.
I left my last job because I was 'a boss.' There is a lot of reward in being a manager with training people and seeing them grow, having a lot of accountability and coming from that: direct success for a group's effort, and just making things happen with a team behind you. But with that glory, there is a lot of work. With a lot of work, life can get off balance...especially when you are the mom.
There were things in my last job I really loved...the people, the clients, the success in fixing something. I had a group of 10 people, and I enjoyed them and I know they liked working with me. Our group had the lowest attrition rate. When I went on maternity leave with my twins, they hung signs that said "WWMD"...What Would Meg Do. Thinking of that still makes me feel really good inside, knowing I did my job well for those folks.
As soon as I returned from maternity leave, with my managers and directors being able to see first had with my absence about what good work I did...I left. Why? Well...because my balance was off. I was responsible for too much at home and at work for just one of me.
Just as all history, my work life seems to repeat itself.
To balance on this tightrope of life, I really have to be confident in not pursuing work glory, but speaking up about what I want to do, not necessarily what I can do. I don't think a lot of people understand this, but what motivates me right now with work is being able to do the job and go home.
The last two months my life on the tightrope has looked like this:
Me in sweats (can't seem to get my act together to be dressed every morning), inching across the super high tightrope with this huge woman from work on my back...and all her baggage.
Yep - that is what has been throwing me off. Her. It is all her. I've been her 'mentor' and that means...lots and lots of work. The beginning of the year, she was on a 'performance improvement plan' - which means, you have 90 days to turn your work around otherwise you get a pink slip. With the manager change, the new guy took her off this...though now he realizes, he shouldn't have.
She is the reason I haven't submitted a post to my blog in a month. She is the reason my bills are piled high. She is the reason I'm behind at work, which makes me behind at life, which makes me work late at night, which makes me...well, just behind.
Okay - I can't put all the blame on her. I could get to my bills, my laundry, my extra work...but what would suffer? My life. My house. My husband. My kids. So I'm letting her take a little too much of me, so what IS left, can be passed along to what else is required: my family.
Last week I had a factual conversation with my manager about all of this and my timing couldn't be more terrible. Right now, is performance review time, which leads to bonuses, promotions, etc., etc.. I had to basically tell him that I don't want to manage people. I can't be responsible for others like I have been with this woman, it is making my work-life balance off-kilter. What I appreciate is being able to work, but if work affects life, life will start to affect work. He got it. I told him I'd throw up the flares when it gets to be too much, but I will do the job that is asked of me. I had to be brave and truthful to myself in what I want...just a job. Right now, I don't want a high powered career...but at the same time, I don't want to limit myself. It stinks when you realized you can't have it all...but 'all' is self-defined, so I'm picking 'just the job' because in my life, I do feel like I have it 'all.'
For the immediate term, after 2 months of having this woman on my back while I'm inching across the tightrope, I'm finally making her inch across on her own. She's not doing very well...I'm holding the net inches below rope, she has a harness on, and the rope is 10 inches wide and only 2 inches off the ground...with all that help she still can't seem to get across it. Right now it is all about self-sustenance.
At this point...I've done all I can and now can get back to my life without a jet...all I want is my minivan and that satisfies me and makes me very happy.
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