Melancholia was a movie I saw last week. It was a girls night out with my mom, one of my oldest friends (we met in Kindergarten) and her mom. It was fun to be out, especially with the company we were in - a real treat to be the 4 of us together! Thank goodness that my friend and her mom came...the movie was really 'artsy' and my mom confessed to me if they weren't there, she would have left the theater in the first few minutes. She drove so I would have had to leave & chase after her...for those who know my mom...you can totally see this (and you have to laugh).
So, this movie was pretty grim; it was all about the world ending after slamming into a planet named Melancholia. The storyline followed two sisters, one with a serious mental depression issue (Kirsten Dundst) and her sister (Charlotte Gainsbourg) who pretty much takes care of everything...while trying to hold herself together.
With all the emotional ups and downs I've experienced over the past few years, and handling all the special needs of my family unit, I felt like I could really relate to both sisters' story.
Though the movie topic could be seen as depressing, I really think it made me happy. The art direction was gorgeous, the soundtrack was beautiful and the scenery was where I wanted to be on a vacation.
I'm happy to report I'm in a really good place in my life right now. I'm really happy with who I am, who I am around, what I am doing, how I am feeling, how I am reacting to what is thrown my way...and I'm really happy with where I've been in my life, what I've done...my life has been so full and wonderful. I'm so lucky & I say it all the time.
So, I'm confident to say, that this movie has me appreciate everything I've been given and accomplished. I can say that if the Earth died tomorrow, I'd be happy with the life I've lived.
Now for the record...I don't want to die tomorrow, I wouldn't feel happy about it at all...I'd only be happy if tomorrow the Earth ended & we all evaporated together...I'd be happy with where I am & what I've done. That's all I'm sayin'...I'm happy.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Superman! Banana!
I give in to infomercials, I hate to admit it. Last year I got Wonderful Husband P90X, the workout video. He was hemming and hawing about buying it, so I surprised him. It took me a year to take a look at it myself.
Now that I'm still holding true to my resolution: 3) Do something every day - that is: {gulp} Exercise, I decided yesterday to give it a try. I can confidently say that I know where eldest gets his lack of motor planning...ME! When I see these people bend down, jump forward, lean to the side, etc...I think "I can see you doing that, but I don't think I can make my body do it."
They have this Superman/Banana move. You lay on your stomach & lift your arms and legs like you are flying. Then the instructor yells 'Banana!', and you roll over to your back, with your arms above your head above the ground & legs up...yes, you are shaped like a banana. Then he yells 'Superman!' - and you repeat, over & over.
My core strength sucks. This I already knew before trying to do this move yesterday & got through 2 Supermans and .5 Bananas before giving up. In today's lesson, they did this move again...but today I was able to do 3 Supermans and 1.5 Bananas.
Wow - I've never been an athlete, but I'm starting to see how you practice at something & your body can do it.
I don't think P90X is as much fun as my elliptical...but now I'm wondering how many reps of Superman! Banana! I can do as time progresses. This question alone is what may keep me going in trying these videos.
Now that I'm still holding true to my resolution: 3) Do something every day - that is: {gulp} Exercise, I decided yesterday to give it a try. I can confidently say that I know where eldest gets his lack of motor planning...ME! When I see these people bend down, jump forward, lean to the side, etc...I think "I can see you doing that, but I don't think I can make my body do it."
They have this Superman/Banana move. You lay on your stomach & lift your arms and legs like you are flying. Then the instructor yells 'Banana!', and you roll over to your back, with your arms above your head above the ground & legs up...yes, you are shaped like a banana. Then he yells 'Superman!' - and you repeat, over & over.
My core strength sucks. This I already knew before trying to do this move yesterday & got through 2 Supermans and .5 Bananas before giving up. In today's lesson, they did this move again...but today I was able to do 3 Supermans and 1.5 Bananas.
Wow - I've never been an athlete, but I'm starting to see how you practice at something & your body can do it.
I don't think P90X is as much fun as my elliptical...but now I'm wondering how many reps of Superman! Banana! I can do as time progresses. This question alone is what may keep me going in trying these videos.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
The one perk to a therapy session
The eldest has a lot of therapy & sometimes it works well if I'm involved in the session, other times it gets him very distracted and sometimes even makes him not want to participate at all while I'm there. I have to remain flexible and in tune with when I'm hindering rather than helping and excuse myself when it is needed.
The one perk to a therapy session, when you aren't participating is having an hour to sit by yourself. I choose this time to sit and read. It's bliss. It's relaxing. It's time just for me (kind of). I'm reading the Harry Potter series and I'm almost done with 'The Half-Blood Prince.' I want to read it every free second I get...which is weekly at therapy.
I've had 3 weeks of this 'perk' on Friday morning. There is one thing that ruins it though and I just need to vent. The director arrives to the building about half-way through my read. The first time, she walked in & commented: "Oh! Isn't it so nice to be able to sit here and read? I'd LOVE to be able to do that." Yea - I thought - it is the perk of being here. But then...she said it the next week, and the NEXT week.
At this point, it got annoying. I'm sitting enjoying my book, see her walk up & sure enough...she says it. Come on lady - don't you think I'd rather be somewhere else reading? Don't you think I'd rather be able to sit & read in my own house at night while my kid played or did his own thing? I don't have that...I have this 'forced' downtime, and I'm using it. I'm hoping that after a few more years of sitting here, we'll get to the place where I can read at home...but I'm not there yet. Now, Ms. Director, please don't take my one perk and turn it into something you are 'envious' of.
The one perk to a therapy session, when you aren't participating is having an hour to sit by yourself. I choose this time to sit and read. It's bliss. It's relaxing. It's time just for me (kind of). I'm reading the Harry Potter series and I'm almost done with 'The Half-Blood Prince.' I want to read it every free second I get...which is weekly at therapy.
I've had 3 weeks of this 'perk' on Friday morning. There is one thing that ruins it though and I just need to vent. The director arrives to the building about half-way through my read. The first time, she walked in & commented: "Oh! Isn't it so nice to be able to sit here and read? I'd LOVE to be able to do that." Yea - I thought - it is the perk of being here. But then...she said it the next week, and the NEXT week.
At this point, it got annoying. I'm sitting enjoying my book, see her walk up & sure enough...she says it. Come on lady - don't you think I'd rather be somewhere else reading? Don't you think I'd rather be able to sit & read in my own house at night while my kid played or did his own thing? I don't have that...I have this 'forced' downtime, and I'm using it. I'm hoping that after a few more years of sitting here, we'll get to the place where I can read at home...but I'm not there yet. Now, Ms. Director, please don't take my one perk and turn it into something you are 'envious' of.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Family Showers and the women I learn things from
Yesterday was my cousin's baby shower & it was so much fun to sit with my sisters, sister in law and cousins. We had a nice lunch, great conversation and a beautiful afternoon to celebrate the new baby that will be arriving soon.
In everyday, mundane tasks, I think about family and friends often. I'm not sure I share with them these constant memories and I probably should. It never fails, whenever I do these things, I think of them.
Here are some that I think of all the time with the ladies I saw yesterday...there are more, but these are what come to mind:
When I make my bed and fold the corners into a 'hospital corner', I think of Aunt Irene, because she taught me how to make the bed properly when I was sleeping over once as a kid. She explained to me that my mom learned how to do this when she was a nurse in the hospital.
When I iron, I think of my mom. She taught me how to iron on my dad's white hankerchiefs in the basement of our old house. I think I starched the heck out of them too.
When I wipe down the counters of my kitchen, I think of my middle sister, who is a queen at cleaning. I also think of my little sister, who claims she was never taught how to clean...that makes me laugh even as I'm typing this.
When I put together an outfit in a different way, by adding a scarf, or a belt, or fancier earrings than I would have initially selected, I think of a few people...my little sister, my cousin, my sister in law, and my friend from college...who are always super stylish and not afraid to try the current trend, or re-invent things.
When I am getting the kids out for the morning and trying to get to work, I think of my Aunt Noreen. She is a working mom and in the technology industry in a bank, just like I am. I always think, if she can do it, I can do it too!
Thank goodness we can learn things from each other. It does take a village and I'm hoping I can teach people some things so they think of me every day in all these little tasks embedded in daily life.
In everyday, mundane tasks, I think about family and friends often. I'm not sure I share with them these constant memories and I probably should. It never fails, whenever I do these things, I think of them.
Here are some that I think of all the time with the ladies I saw yesterday...there are more, but these are what come to mind:
When I make my bed and fold the corners into a 'hospital corner', I think of Aunt Irene, because she taught me how to make the bed properly when I was sleeping over once as a kid. She explained to me that my mom learned how to do this when she was a nurse in the hospital.
When I iron, I think of my mom. She taught me how to iron on my dad's white hankerchiefs in the basement of our old house. I think I starched the heck out of them too.
When I wipe down the counters of my kitchen, I think of my middle sister, who is a queen at cleaning. I also think of my little sister, who claims she was never taught how to clean...that makes me laugh even as I'm typing this.
When I put together an outfit in a different way, by adding a scarf, or a belt, or fancier earrings than I would have initially selected, I think of a few people...my little sister, my cousin, my sister in law, and my friend from college...who are always super stylish and not afraid to try the current trend, or re-invent things.
When I am getting the kids out for the morning and trying to get to work, I think of my Aunt Noreen. She is a working mom and in the technology industry in a bank, just like I am. I always think, if she can do it, I can do it too!
Thank goodness we can learn things from each other. It does take a village and I'm hoping I can teach people some things so they think of me every day in all these little tasks embedded in daily life.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
$20.92
I went to Aldi yesterday to pick up the monthly supplies for daycare and managed to snag a few things for myself. I did this knowing that I didn't have that much cash in my purse, and wasn't even certain on how much I actually had. I figured I'd throw caution to the wind and use my debit card for anything I'm over.
Well, I got to the cashier, my total was $20.92. In my wallet, I found three 5s and some singles...5 singles! Okay - "Here is $20, let me see how much change I have, otherwise I may need to swipe." I scooped up all the change in my wallet and much to my astonishment, it was 92 cents exactly! I didn't have another penny to my name. (Though I do have a lucky penny I picked up downtown on Monday with wonderful husband in my coat pocket) The cashier and I both laughed. I made a comment "If I had another dollar, I'd go play the lotto!"
I'm wondering what the people behind me in line's perception of me was. Did they think that I shouldn't have bought the goat cheese topped frozen pizza if I didn't have enough money? Did they think that I'd start taking things off to see if I could make the payment? Did they even care? Did they even notice?
I ponder these questions only because after watching those "What Would You Do?" shows on TV, there was one of a mom who didn't have enough cash at the grocery store. Some people in line gave her money, others just stuck their nose up in the air. I remember that episode & wonder what I would do. No matter how hard I try, it's hard not to review what someone has in their grocery cart when they pull out the Link card. I try to take these moments where I hold up a line to fumble for change to imagine what it would be like in someone else's shoes...and remind myself that everyone is just trying to get by as best as they can. Not everyone has the luxury I do, to know you can always pull out your debit card for those 'extras' we pick up at the grocery store. Those people may have had to put back the goat cheese topped frozen pizza. When I eat that pizza, I'm going to be extra thankful that I was able to buy it.
Well, I got to the cashier, my total was $20.92. In my wallet, I found three 5s and some singles...5 singles! Okay - "Here is $20, let me see how much change I have, otherwise I may need to swipe." I scooped up all the change in my wallet and much to my astonishment, it was 92 cents exactly! I didn't have another penny to my name. (Though I do have a lucky penny I picked up downtown on Monday with wonderful husband in my coat pocket) The cashier and I both laughed. I made a comment "If I had another dollar, I'd go play the lotto!"
I'm wondering what the people behind me in line's perception of me was. Did they think that I shouldn't have bought the goat cheese topped frozen pizza if I didn't have enough money? Did they think that I'd start taking things off to see if I could make the payment? Did they even care? Did they even notice?
I ponder these questions only because after watching those "What Would You Do?" shows on TV, there was one of a mom who didn't have enough cash at the grocery store. Some people in line gave her money, others just stuck their nose up in the air. I remember that episode & wonder what I would do. No matter how hard I try, it's hard not to review what someone has in their grocery cart when they pull out the Link card. I try to take these moments where I hold up a line to fumble for change to imagine what it would be like in someone else's shoes...and remind myself that everyone is just trying to get by as best as they can. Not everyone has the luxury I do, to know you can always pull out your debit card for those 'extras' we pick up at the grocery store. Those people may have had to put back the goat cheese topped frozen pizza. When I eat that pizza, I'm going to be extra thankful that I was able to buy it.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
"Before I count to 3" versus "Otherwise I'll punch you in the balls"
There are many ways you can get a kid to do things. In our house, it is often by making a joke out of things. Picture this: mom dancing or making up a stupid song to eat your peas or brush your teeth. Today it consisted of me acting like choo-choo train into the boys room to get them dressed...then trying to get their pjs into the hamper with a toss over my shoulder with them cheering (missing sometimes "requiring" me to get another piece of clothing off them to try again).
If I'm not wearing my dancing shoes...or just don't feel like getting creative, you can hear me say "before I count to three." And we all know, the kid starts moving at 2 and three quarters, or maybe 2 and nine tenths.
The new couple down the street recently threw out one last storm window. Their loss...literally. Well, today as I drove by their house this morning in my daily commute, a funny scenario I witnessed a few days back, made me laugh out loud to myself. Yes, I really DID laugh out loud...I really did LOL.
While walking by one balmy January 2012 day (in this nice 40 degree weather)...I saw the man trying to wrangle 3 kids into the car with the lady still in the house. She watches kids in her home daycare, so the 3 kids were about 2 or 3 years old. I think the boy he was talking to was his son, but I'm not quite sure. All I am sure is that I heard "Get in the car NOW, otherwise I'll punch you in the balls."
Oh my! Did I really heard an adult say that to a toddler? We all lose our cool with kids, sometimes it's witnessed, sometimes it's not. I'm thinking that this threat is heard often in this house if it came so fluid out of the man's mouth.
Some may be disgusted by his actions...at my core, I really don't like it. But, keeping all things in perspective, it really has nothing to do with me. My kids aren't in her 'daycare', they don't hang with them (yet), and I got to witness something that I can say I have never heard in my life.
This new couple hasn't done many things people on our block like. This witness just adds to their classiness. And, really...it's funny - I think it belongs in a white-trash sitcom. I can't wait until I remember to tell my neighbor about it.
If I'm not wearing my dancing shoes...or just don't feel like getting creative, you can hear me say "before I count to three." And we all know, the kid starts moving at 2 and three quarters, or maybe 2 and nine tenths.
The new couple down the street recently threw out one last storm window. Their loss...literally. Well, today as I drove by their house this morning in my daily commute, a funny scenario I witnessed a few days back, made me laugh out loud to myself. Yes, I really DID laugh out loud...I really did LOL.
While walking by one balmy January 2012 day (in this nice 40 degree weather)...I saw the man trying to wrangle 3 kids into the car with the lady still in the house. She watches kids in her home daycare, so the 3 kids were about 2 or 3 years old. I think the boy he was talking to was his son, but I'm not quite sure. All I am sure is that I heard "Get in the car NOW, otherwise I'll punch you in the balls."
Oh my! Did I really heard an adult say that to a toddler? We all lose our cool with kids, sometimes it's witnessed, sometimes it's not. I'm thinking that this threat is heard often in this house if it came so fluid out of the man's mouth.
Some may be disgusted by his actions...at my core, I really don't like it. But, keeping all things in perspective, it really has nothing to do with me. My kids aren't in her 'daycare', they don't hang with them (yet), and I got to witness something that I can say I have never heard in my life.
This new couple hasn't done many things people on our block like. This witness just adds to their classiness. And, really...it's funny - I think it belongs in a white-trash sitcom. I can't wait until I remember to tell my neighbor about it.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
"Reach out and touch faith" - Depeche Mode
Sundays the eldest has Religious Ed classes at 8:45. Wonderful husband and I both awoke before the alarm and started chatting about where the kids should go to elementary school: Public versus parochial.
My whole life I always envisioned my children going to the same private grade school I did (which is why we live in the same parish), following in my family's footsteps by progressing to the private single-gender high schools and on to college. But like most my other future plans, it's almost polar opposite and not what I would have considered my first choice. I've become more resilient to this and starting to be more flexible with what His plans are for me. Surprisingly, I'm not that anxious about it either. One thing I've learned in my quest to be a mom and raising my family...things always work out.
In my traditional South-Side Irish-Catholic neighborhood, the debate about public vs private is a question that I hear all the time from old classmates, friends, etc. We have a fantastic public school system, so both are very equal.
Well, with the eldest's special needs, preschool, kindergarten and first grade have been selected for us = Public. But what about the twins? And the eldest if he moves into mainstreamed classes? What is the right choice for them as individuals, not focusing on money, family-influence or Catholic-guilt?
So, I decided to ask wonderful husband how he decided to go to the private high school, after being the minority in selecting that, from his public grade school. His answer, "I thought they had a good baseball team." Oh boy. I'm not convinced that an idea like this will be a good enough driver for any of our kids.
My thought now: How do we get the kids to want to go to these private high schools after attending the public grammar schools...where most of their friends won't end up going. I think to have them been successful, they need to want to attend there, not be forced by us.
So, after some general early morning discussion, we decided...we can play it by ear. Can that really be considered a decision? Maybe we will send the twins to public school for Kindergarten and then to the parochial school starting in first grade. Two more years would have the eldest in third grade, possibly ready to move into mainstreamed classes, and if not, that is okay to have them in separate schools.
As a twist, 6 months ago we were probably 90% sure we would send the twins to the public school, but now we are back to 50/50, or maybe even 30/70%.
Though, the CRAZIEST thing happened next:
Our conversation ended. My alarm went off...it was the exact lyrics: "Reach out and touch faith" by Depeche Mode.
Wonderful husband made a comment that it was probably a sign. We both laughed. Though he knows...I read a lot into 'signs.'
My whole life I always envisioned my children going to the same private grade school I did (which is why we live in the same parish), following in my family's footsteps by progressing to the private single-gender high schools and on to college. But like most my other future plans, it's almost polar opposite and not what I would have considered my first choice. I've become more resilient to this and starting to be more flexible with what His plans are for me. Surprisingly, I'm not that anxious about it either. One thing I've learned in my quest to be a mom and raising my family...things always work out.
In my traditional South-Side Irish-Catholic neighborhood, the debate about public vs private is a question that I hear all the time from old classmates, friends, etc. We have a fantastic public school system, so both are very equal.
Well, with the eldest's special needs, preschool, kindergarten and first grade have been selected for us = Public. But what about the twins? And the eldest if he moves into mainstreamed classes? What is the right choice for them as individuals, not focusing on money, family-influence or Catholic-guilt?
So, I decided to ask wonderful husband how he decided to go to the private high school, after being the minority in selecting that, from his public grade school. His answer, "I thought they had a good baseball team." Oh boy. I'm not convinced that an idea like this will be a good enough driver for any of our kids.
My thought now: How do we get the kids to want to go to these private high schools after attending the public grammar schools...where most of their friends won't end up going. I think to have them been successful, they need to want to attend there, not be forced by us.
So, after some general early morning discussion, we decided...we can play it by ear. Can that really be considered a decision? Maybe we will send the twins to public school for Kindergarten and then to the parochial school starting in first grade. Two more years would have the eldest in third grade, possibly ready to move into mainstreamed classes, and if not, that is okay to have them in separate schools.
As a twist, 6 months ago we were probably 90% sure we would send the twins to the public school, but now we are back to 50/50, or maybe even 30/70%.
Though, the CRAZIEST thing happened next:
Our conversation ended. My alarm went off...it was the exact lyrics: "Reach out and touch faith" by Depeche Mode.
Wonderful husband made a comment that it was probably a sign. We both laughed. Though he knows...I read a lot into 'signs.'
Friday, January 13, 2012
5 pounds
I did it. Or, at least I think I did it. I lost 5 pounds.
I've been holding true to my goal of "Do something every day - that is: {gulp} Exercise" since the first of January . Every day I weigh myself...every day it hasn't really moved. Maybe it will move after I take off my robe or shoes...but not significantly, until TODAY!
In my normal routine, I wake up & immediately step on the scale...SHOCK! It was 5 pounds less. Every other day, I'd use the bathroom, come back to weigh myself again & maybe loose 2 lbs (damned pee). But not today - came back...still...5 pounds less.
I got off the scale, looked to make sure it was calibrated at the 0, got back on & sure enough! 5 pounds!
Wonderful husband has been looking at my skeptically over the past few days when I said I think I've lost some weight based on how my clothes fit. I came to realize he had no clue that now working from home, I was holding true to working out. I think I truly surprised him.
Now...to keep it going. I need to fit into my shorts for a family vacation in 2 months, that will soon transform into 'a few short weeks.' I'm not hoping for unrealistic glory, just that I don't have to pack all sundresses like I did for my southbound trip in December.
Sundresses may have made me look like I was getting dressed up, but the honest truth was that it was the only warm weather clothing that fit. Man, that sucked...but I did look cute :)
I've been holding true to my goal of "Do something every day - that is: {gulp} Exercise" since the first of January . Every day I weigh myself...every day it hasn't really moved. Maybe it will move after I take off my robe or shoes...but not significantly, until TODAY!
In my normal routine, I wake up & immediately step on the scale...SHOCK! It was 5 pounds less. Every other day, I'd use the bathroom, come back to weigh myself again & maybe loose 2 lbs (damned pee). But not today - came back...still...5 pounds less.
I got off the scale, looked to make sure it was calibrated at the 0, got back on & sure enough! 5 pounds!
Wonderful husband has been looking at my skeptically over the past few days when I said I think I've lost some weight based on how my clothes fit. I came to realize he had no clue that now working from home, I was holding true to working out. I think I truly surprised him.
Now...to keep it going. I need to fit into my shorts for a family vacation in 2 months, that will soon transform into 'a few short weeks.' I'm not hoping for unrealistic glory, just that I don't have to pack all sundresses like I did for my southbound trip in December.
Sundresses may have made me look like I was getting dressed up, but the honest truth was that it was the only warm weather clothing that fit. Man, that sucked...but I did look cute :)
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Financial gurus
I love and am slightly addicted to both Suze Orman & Dave Ramsey. They have such good pointers, and I often wonder how in the world do they make money off of giving their financial advice? I'd love to operate like they preach...spend using cash only, have a buffer of savings...okay, translate: operate within my means.
I always think: how did wonderful husband & I do it before, when we both were making a lot less than now. We used to have money in hand to do lots of things...eat out, travel the world, buy things we wanted. Ah ha! Answer = kids = daycare.
Well, I can't eliminate daycare, but I can eliminate some other things...like the subscription to WeightWatchers or Americas Test Kitchen online, which I did yesterday. Every little bit helps, right? But for someone who is trying to keep finances in check...yesterday with saving about $40 on the online subscriptions, I blew it in the end.
Like most people in the world, 2012 resolutions are to be financially responsible. I didn't mark that as one of my 'official' resolutions...instead...I put "Continue to do fun things." And yesterday, I blew the undocumented resolution about finances & have a great weekend in store. Check this out:
> Saturday - Medieval Times with the kids (~$140)
> Sunday - Beauty & the Beast 3D with the kids (~$60)
> Monday - holiday - I'm priding myself as the best wife here...
...sending the kids to daycare so wonderful husband can have a mental health day ($25 extra for eldest)
...taking him to the IMAX show of Mission Impossible ($36)
...parking downtown...or possibly the train & a taxi? (~$40)
...head somewhere in the city for an adult cuisine & quiet lunch (~$50)
I also signed up for other fun stuff in the next month:
> Cocktails & Cupcakes - a class to learn how to decorate cupcakes while drinking ($52)
> Second City Comedy Tour - wonderful husband will be surprised at this too...we love comedy shows & it will be a DATE NIGHT!!! ($50 + babysitter)
> Cosmic Bowling for my sister's traditional birthday celebration...DATE NIGHT!!! (~$60 + babysitter)
The best part - spending more than $500 for fun adventures = NO REGRET AT ALL. In fact, I'm super pleased with myself & really excited for experiencing all these fun adventures!
I always think: how did wonderful husband & I do it before, when we both were making a lot less than now. We used to have money in hand to do lots of things...eat out, travel the world, buy things we wanted. Ah ha! Answer = kids = daycare.
Well, I can't eliminate daycare, but I can eliminate some other things...like the subscription to WeightWatchers or Americas Test Kitchen online, which I did yesterday. Every little bit helps, right? But for someone who is trying to keep finances in check...yesterday with saving about $40 on the online subscriptions, I blew it in the end.
Like most people in the world, 2012 resolutions are to be financially responsible. I didn't mark that as one of my 'official' resolutions...instead...I put "Continue to do fun things." And yesterday, I blew the undocumented resolution about finances & have a great weekend in store. Check this out:
> Saturday - Medieval Times with the kids (~$140)
> Sunday - Beauty & the Beast 3D with the kids (~$60)
> Monday - holiday - I'm priding myself as the best wife here...
...sending the kids to daycare so wonderful husband can have a mental health day ($25 extra for eldest)
...taking him to the IMAX show of Mission Impossible ($36)
...parking downtown...or possibly the train & a taxi? (~$40)
...head somewhere in the city for an adult cuisine & quiet lunch (~$50)
I also signed up for other fun stuff in the next month:
> Cocktails & Cupcakes - a class to learn how to decorate cupcakes while drinking ($52)
> Second City Comedy Tour - wonderful husband will be surprised at this too...we love comedy shows & it will be a DATE NIGHT!!! ($50 + babysitter)
> Cosmic Bowling for my sister's traditional birthday celebration...DATE NIGHT!!! (~$60 + babysitter)
The best part - spending more than $500 for fun adventures = NO REGRET AT ALL. In fact, I'm super pleased with myself & really excited for experiencing all these fun adventures!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
"I can relate"
I realized yesterday, that these three simple words can easily avoid lots of problems: "I can relate"
We all know story-toppers and I think at the core, we are all afraid of being one. The problem is that when you want to contribute to a conversation, sometimes you are just giving your experience of a similiar situation, but it comes off as a story topper, or worse: discounting the other person's experience.
By using the words "I can relate" before jumping in...I think a lot of hurt and misunderstanding can be avoided.
Consider this conversation:
Me: {talking about the special ed program and my son's special needs}
Coworker: "Oh, I think my situation is harder with my son who is above average and in enrichment. Enrichment programs just don't get the attention that special ed does, so it's hard to get the school on board with his special needs."
Now...before jumping down her throat...I see her point. Kids who are more advanced don't always get the attention they need. This is why there is Bill Gates, who is a high school drop out, but a genius. And a guy I worked with who was a computer programming whiz, and same as Bill, a high school drop out.
If only she said "I can relate to how hard it is to get special services in the school system..." and then share her story. It's a lot less harsh.
Life is not a contest. It's not about who has the best, biggest, worst, hardest...it's just that we all want to be recognized, sympathized, justified... We can relate to other's situations and experiences. We just need to be a little more aware how we are submitting our contributions to a conversation.
We all know story-toppers and I think at the core, we are all afraid of being one. The problem is that when you want to contribute to a conversation, sometimes you are just giving your experience of a similiar situation, but it comes off as a story topper, or worse: discounting the other person's experience.
By using the words "I can relate" before jumping in...I think a lot of hurt and misunderstanding can be avoided.
Consider this conversation:
Me: {talking about the special ed program and my son's special needs}
Coworker: "Oh, I think my situation is harder with my son who is above average and in enrichment. Enrichment programs just don't get the attention that special ed does, so it's hard to get the school on board with his special needs."
Now...before jumping down her throat...I see her point. Kids who are more advanced don't always get the attention they need. This is why there is Bill Gates, who is a high school drop out, but a genius. And a guy I worked with who was a computer programming whiz, and same as Bill, a high school drop out.
If only she said "I can relate to how hard it is to get special services in the school system..." and then share her story. It's a lot less harsh.
Life is not a contest. It's not about who has the best, biggest, worst, hardest...it's just that we all want to be recognized, sympathized, justified... We can relate to other's situations and experiences. We just need to be a little more aware how we are submitting our contributions to a conversation.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Ah...a new year...a new start
I like New Years. I like having a concrete day to a fresh start. I'm not sure I've always felt this way, but I do now.
Last year I don't think I had any resolutions, I think I was too overwhelmed with the special needs of my kids and just getting through the daily grind (hence...the beginning of 'mom on the tightrope').
The end of 2011 proved to be very good for my family. We are in 'maintenance' mode right now, as I refer to it. Collectively, we have completed a lot of testing and procedures in the last 24 months for us:
invitro
hysterectomy
pneumonia
strep throat
tonsilectomy
2-tympanostomy (ear tube) procedures
2-20 minute EEGs, requiring us to sleep our child half the amount so they can sleep during this test
2-23 hour EEG video monitoring in the hospital
2-MRIs
Blood work
Depression
Counseling
ADHD Medicines
2-Mammograms
Cavities & a crown
Eye glasses
Skin surgery
Physical Therapy
Occupational Therapy
Speech Therapy
Numerous visits with: Ear Doctor, Pediatrician, Neurologist, Geneticist, Endocrinologist, Dentist, Gynecologist, Physical Therapist, Occupational Therapist, Speech Therapist, Counselor, Psychologist, Reproductive Endocrinologist, Optomitrist, Dermatologist, Internist
I'm happy that we haven't visited more...there could be more doctors in our aresenal than that, if you can believe it.
Now, I think the discovery phase of everything is done - and we are now just responsible for maintaning, following up with these specialists and proceed forward with life. AAAAHHHHHH....PHEW!
So, this year my resolutions focus on getting back to my version of 'normal'. It's doing things that make me appreciate life & the things that I have. I got the guts to ask my boss if I can work from home full time - and he said YES! I'm certain that this will not last forever, so my first resolution:
1) Appreciate what I have now with my job & make the most of my work-life balance
This will allow me to focus (I'm not committing to the word 'achieve') on the other resolutions.
2) Listen to fun music
For the past 10 years I've listened to news radio in the morning & the car...wonder if this has led to stress. Not certain, but I'm willing to change it up & see what this experiment yields.
3) Do something every day - that is: {gulp} Exercise
In some form or another...exercise once a day. Try to get to that 30 minute, 5 time a week plan 'experts' are always referring to. Maybe a walk outside, a ride on my elipitical? This is now possible since I work from home: I drop the kids off without showering, then 'do something', then shower before everyone arrives back for the evening. It is possible.
4) Be kinder to my kids
We have been through a lot, and continue to be. I need to remember that they are kids and resilient, but not nearly as resilient as they were as toddlers or infants. These kids now have clear opinions, as they should. I need to show them I value their opinion, find ways to help grow their self esteem and make sure they can clearly SEE, by example, that we love them beyond words.
5) Stay dry
Not drink. What? Yes...try it. I'm hoping this will help my weight, my sleep, my skin (psoriasis) condition.
6) Not bite my nails
Okay - this is just one of those 'New Years Resolutions' that people make...change something they don't like about themself...and this is mine. I'm not really doing much to change it, but just putting it out there.
7) Continue to do fun things
Fun things I like. Fun things with my kids. Fun things with my husband. Fun things with my family. Fun things with my friends. Dates, Lunches, Parks, Crafts, Vacations, Adventures...put it out there...I'll try it. This one should be the easiest resolutiosn to accomplish.
Last year I don't think I had any resolutions, I think I was too overwhelmed with the special needs of my kids and just getting through the daily grind (hence...the beginning of 'mom on the tightrope').
The end of 2011 proved to be very good for my family. We are in 'maintenance' mode right now, as I refer to it. Collectively, we have completed a lot of testing and procedures in the last 24 months for us:
invitro
hysterectomy
pneumonia
strep throat
tonsilectomy
2-tympanostomy (ear tube) procedures
2-20 minute EEGs, requiring us to sleep our child half the amount so they can sleep during this test
2-23 hour EEG video monitoring in the hospital
2-MRIs
Blood work
Depression
Counseling
ADHD Medicines
2-Mammograms
Cavities & a crown
Eye glasses
Skin surgery
Physical Therapy
Occupational Therapy
Speech Therapy
Numerous visits with: Ear Doctor, Pediatrician, Neurologist, Geneticist, Endocrinologist, Dentist, Gynecologist, Physical Therapist, Occupational Therapist, Speech Therapist, Counselor, Psychologist, Reproductive Endocrinologist, Optomitrist, Dermatologist, Internist
I'm happy that we haven't visited more...there could be more doctors in our aresenal than that, if you can believe it.
Now, I think the discovery phase of everything is done - and we are now just responsible for maintaning, following up with these specialists and proceed forward with life. AAAAHHHHHH....PHEW!
So, this year my resolutions focus on getting back to my version of 'normal'. It's doing things that make me appreciate life & the things that I have. I got the guts to ask my boss if I can work from home full time - and he said YES! I'm certain that this will not last forever, so my first resolution:
1) Appreciate what I have now with my job & make the most of my work-life balance
This will allow me to focus (I'm not committing to the word 'achieve') on the other resolutions.
2) Listen to fun music
For the past 10 years I've listened to news radio in the morning & the car...wonder if this has led to stress. Not certain, but I'm willing to change it up & see what this experiment yields.
3) Do something every day - that is: {gulp} Exercise
In some form or another...exercise once a day. Try to get to that 30 minute, 5 time a week plan 'experts' are always referring to. Maybe a walk outside, a ride on my elipitical? This is now possible since I work from home: I drop the kids off without showering, then 'do something', then shower before everyone arrives back for the evening. It is possible.
4) Be kinder to my kids
We have been through a lot, and continue to be. I need to remember that they are kids and resilient, but not nearly as resilient as they were as toddlers or infants. These kids now have clear opinions, as they should. I need to show them I value their opinion, find ways to help grow their self esteem and make sure they can clearly SEE, by example, that we love them beyond words.
5) Stay dry
Not drink. What? Yes...try it. I'm hoping this will help my weight, my sleep, my skin (psoriasis) condition.
6) Not bite my nails
Okay - this is just one of those 'New Years Resolutions' that people make...change something they don't like about themself...and this is mine. I'm not really doing much to change it, but just putting it out there.
7) Continue to do fun things
Fun things I like. Fun things with my kids. Fun things with my husband. Fun things with my family. Fun things with my friends. Dates, Lunches, Parks, Crafts, Vacations, Adventures...put it out there...I'll try it. This one should be the easiest resolutiosn to accomplish.
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