80 degrees to my left

If I look out the front door, 80 degrees to my left is that annoying old man, who I gave the bird to as I was being carried into the ambulance.  I'm glad I haven't seen him since Tuesday's incident.

If I look out my bedroom window, 80 degrees to my left is my neighbor's kitchen window...where she was so kind to me yesterday in checking in on me and then delivering dinner.  I'm really lucky to have some great people all around me, literally.

If I look in the mirror, 80 degrees to my left is where my nose is pointing.  This sucks...I'm teetering today between laughing and crying, like a hormonal new mom without enough sleep and a crying baby.  I'm trying to not have a pity party, as I know what types of presents Karma delivers to me when I have those parties...so I'm going to try to avoid it.  I think avoiding it is by trying to take some control of the chaos that is running me out of control right now.

I have an appointment with my general physician this afternoon, who I really like.  I believe he cares for me very well.  After a crummy time Tuesday night, at the super busy ER at the hospital closest to me, which takes many of the critical cases around Chicago...I am hoping that my doctor will make sure I have the right treatment, in case they missed something on Tuesday (I wouldn't be surprised if they did).

I just got a call for the plastic surgeon also, seeing him tomorrow.

Okay - those are 2 things in my control that I can start to move forward on with regarding to myself.

The other part is what is driving me down on the teeter-tauter and periodically crying is that I'm just scared about balancing work with all this chaos.  I have a new manager, who I'm not yet sure will be understanding of my life demands...now with this additional stuff I need to 'face' every day (pun intended...ha!).

So, to take control over work, I called my director to ask if she would support me in applying for FMLA to take time off as needed for my eldest.  Wonderful Husband has this safeguard in place and I think gave him comfort and security...I think I need that comfort as well.  I am blowing through my PTO and sick time for myself right now, so I'm just afraid when I need to take time off for my eldest, I won't have it available.  The sucky part is that I cried on the phone to her...but maybe that helped to see I'm handling my work load, but really struggling with the outside stuff?  Oh - who knows...and I guess I shouldn't care.

Okay - off to 'face' the rest of my day...