Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Sympathy, Encouragement, and a Hug

Yesterday I saw one of my favorite doctors, the eldest's ENT.  She is a super smart doctor, seems like a fabulous mom (has twins...double bonus), and she really likes me (which I know is because I write things down & follow through on instructions).  Okay, that may be bragging...or in a sense pretty bad with all things considered.  Who on earth is a frequent flier at an Ear Nose & Throat doctor?  You got it...THIS Lady.  Sing it with me: Oh yeaaaahhh!   I think I should have an elite card in my wallet...all together it is like having a fast-pass.  I know the receptionist by name, I was able to book an appointment within 1 business day, and yesterday I was escorted to the exam room before someone who was in the lobby before me.  Frequent flying has it's perks, indeed!

Well, at the ENT yesterday, we got all good news that the eldest's ears were fine.  They both recovered well after an infection, where her A+ mom student actually did a bad job & didn't follow through with the full course of ear drops.  Oh well...this time I may have gotten a D, but my overall GPA with her is still good.  We lasted pretty long between appointments (4 months?). And the good news, I wasn't leaving the office with yet ANOTHER ear surgery planned for once!

BUT...

She took one look in his mouth at a tooth that is falling out and with a slightly shocked panic in her voice, said I have to take him to the dentist STAT.  Okay - now I'm feeling pretty bad again...her normal A+ student, didn't follow the medication course and now also put off getting him to the dentist.  I knew his tooth was falling out, I saw the gum line receding...but I thought, once the IEP is done, then once his ear infection is done...we'll work on the next thing: the tooth.

I think I should preface this second half by informing everyone that the eldest now has 6 teeth missing.  In Kindergarten, most kids have lost 2 - 4 teeth...well, my guy has 6 all gone from trauma, specifically falling, starting when he was 22 months.  I'll never forget when the first one happened because we were in Michigan on our annual family vacation.  The downfall of all of this is that since the teeth have been gone for so long, there is not a fresh hole for the adult teeth to break through, so they will grow in later seeing he basically has to re-cut his teeth.

The falling out teeth, we assumed from trauma, wasn't going to be that big of an issue as long as the cuspids, or canine teeth, stay intact...essentially being the anchors for the molars.  Well, I've told you I'm lucky...this time it's the cuspid that is falling out.  Even though we think this comes from trauma, the progression of events is not immediately apparent.  Say the tooth gets bumped and doesn't recover...the first thing that happens is a recessed gum line, then decay of the bone around the root, then the tooth will fall out or need extraction.  We've been through it 6 times already...I was finally not the proactive advocate on this one...I knew there was nothing to do to prevent it...I purposely delayed.  I think I'm getting just burnt out.

One reason I delayed is that we were considering about moving dentist practices because this one is costing us an arm and a leg being out of network.  But, I figured I'm 3 blocks away, they already know him, he's a good dentist, and this is kind of an emergency.  After the treatment and attention we received yesterday, I'm thinking we may even stay at his practice, even if he is out of network.

When I called, they got us in immediately...well, when the receptionist put me on hold and came back on, she asked where I was.  My response was 'in your parking lot'  It is hard to say no to someone who is sitting at your front door, so she had me come in.

I had to carry the eldest in like a baby in my arms (think sideways in my arms...not just carry).  It pretty much sucks when you have to carry a 6 year old like a baby, especially in public...but the poor kid was crying hysterically when we pulled up, saw it was the dentist and not McDonalds, as he was asking to go.  If I were him, I'd be upset at the change of plans too.  This is what I meant when I say having a kid with special needs sure makes you have confidence...I am confident in myself enough to not care how others may judge me, if I'm doing 'works' for our situation at hand.

So, the eldest has to go back to the exam areas by himself...after flipping through many magazine pages, I was finally called back.  The dentist was just sitting in front of the xray on the computer screen with his hand on his forehead.  The way to know when you have a good doctor is this - he said he wants to refer us out.  There is no reason that this tooth is falling out and he wanted to make sure that he wasn't missing something.

I shared a bit of our constant research and thanked him for being creative in his thinking.  He has connections at Children's Memorial Hospital, with the former president who he was going to call and get me in front of as soon as possible.  At this point, the eldest turned around in his chair and gave us both a big smile.  Man, if I can say one thing...his smile, even as toothless as it is...lights up a room.

I thanked the dentist, went to shake his hand...and he said 'no, you get a hug.'  It was sweet.  He understood what we are going through and told me so.  It's nice to have compassionate doctors who really want to help.

So, today he held up to his promise.  Our dentist called me before 10 am, said how he talked with the former president of Children's Memorial last night and his secretary this morning, has sent them all our xrays electronically, and prepped them on our case.  I then quickly got on the phone with the new guy's personal secretary, who is going to call me as soon as she talks with this new dentist, who is in Milwaukee speaking at a conference.  I told her how much I appreciated the help and that we'd work with their schedule...all I need is about a 1 hour lead time to get there.

I'm pretty flattered that we are getting in front of this new dentist, with a fantastically impressive resume (I looked him up).  Maybe he will be the one to help us figure out what is going on...at a minimum, he should be able to figure out what we should do next about the poor guy's teeth.  But geesh...for us it seems that one thing always leads to another, it never just ends.  At some point this week I'll be venturing downtown to yet another doctor's appointment, but not to worry...instead of stress, I kind of feel elite again getting face time with this guy...only the best doctors for the most 'curious and special' cases, right?

My dear friend always encourages me when I'm visiting yet ANOTHER doctor...she said I'M going to be the one to find out what is the cause of my eldest's special needs.  I'm confident she is right & it helps fuel me spiritually.  If we don't ever find out what the cause is, I'm okay with that, but I'll keep trying and I will be successful as long as I continue to get the sympathy, encouragement, and hugs from all the people in my life...family, friends, and even our doctors.

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