I have NO will power

I have no will power.  This is why I bite my nails, started smoking when I was younger, and still drink.

What?  Still drink?  I know...only 2 days ago I said I wasn't going to drink.  But last week (prior to my incident at the fish fry) I got a bottle of whipped cream flavored vodka, and man, it tastes good in a juice, orange juice, lemonade...yum.  So, last night, I poured myself a glass.  Shucks.  At least it was only one this time, but man...did I have some crazy dreams!

I justified this drink by the unbelievable stresses that are coming this week.  Hopefully one week from today, things will be back on track.

The ADHD of our eldest often brings us to tears.  Literally.  It's hard to manage the family with always intervening on daily life.  Maybe this is why it's nice to have a drink while I sit in front of the boob tube once the kids go to bed.  Yes...it is nice, but it is really just an excuse to not follow my resolution.

Yesterday, I finished up the logging and reviewing 6 years worth, in 2 binders, about 500 pages, of the eldest's medical, school, and therapy history in preparation for the IEP this week.  I got the document organization from 'From Emotions to Advocacy' - I highly recommend this book for any parent with a child who has an IEP (Individual Education Plan).

Today: I meet with his teachers to review the IEP and the full re-evaluation that the school team performed since January; this is a 'draft' review for the official meeting on Wednesday, but I'm not certain who will actually be at this preliminary meeting.

To top it off, my psoriasis has never been worse, so I have an emergency appointment with my dermatologist (I feel like a celebrity getting an 'emergency' appointment :) ).  Since my skin is so bad, I also had an appointment with my general practitioner...today I get the report if I have a gluten allergy.

Tomorrow: I meet with my counselor to check in with her and strategize about the IEP.  We also have the first tee-ball practice for the eldest...more stress if you can believe that, just from how he will act and participate.

Wednesday: THE IEP Meeting.  I'm preparing for the Director of Student Services to attend, this is the witch who I was orchestrating that interim Special Education Parents Advisory Council meeting with.  From what I've heard, I think she will be there with the intention to make my life miserable, and I would believe it.  After that council meeting, the Superintendent responded to my thank you note, but she didn't (I'm not surprised).

To make sure I'm really prepared for the 'legal' agreement on the eldest's school special services, I'm bringing a tape recorder, and my attorney.  I'm also not signing anything, since the next day I have another meeting...

Thursday: We meet with the private child psychologist who just did a separate re-evaluation of the eldest.  What timing!!  This is how the Lord looks out for me...we were already meeting with him and it just so happens to be the day after I get the official IEP.  So he offered to review it to ensure it looks like the eldest is getting what he needs...thank goodness for teams.  Again...teams - horray!

Monday: We meet with the pediatrician to review the eldest's ADHD program.  We have decided to go unmedicated, which is almost as terrible as medicated child.  Everyone agrees that we need something...hopefully she can help us with what that 'something' is...it's surely not just the 5 hours of therapy he receives every week alone.  5 hours?  Yes...5 hours - 3 hours privately, and 2 hours pulled out in school.  I don't even think I can do that.

Okay.  So I can admit I have SOME will power.  I did quit smoking and it's been over a decade, and like any true addiction I know I can't even try one cigarette because I'll get hooked again.  And I suppose it is will power to as dedicated and focused on this quest to help my eldest...and ourselves with all his special needs.  I'm also not going to let this psoriasis and stress get the best of me, which is why I already have a plan of action in place for myself.

So...with all this on my plate, is it so terrible to continue to have an occasional drink?  Until I get the call today telling me I'm allergic to alcohol, I think I'll keep doing it...in moderation.  Thank goodness the fish fry is done until next year :)